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I'm in a weird silent funk with my husband...

We have a great relationship, going on almost 9 years married and 14 years together but lately it seems we have nothing to talk about besides our son.. which ok, I get can be normal but I think its more ME.. he will talk about work, which I never do, I wash my hands of work the moment I get home, or he'll talk about his friends and well, I don't have any friends so that's not a topic I can include on.. so the last week he'll inquire about my day and all I have is Oh it was fine.. then I go blank like I literally have nothing else to talk about.. I know I need friends or some type of life but currently from what I've dealt with in friends - that's not a want for me at all - I very much love being a Mother so I WANT to spend all my time with our son since I already have to work full time - I feel I miss out on so much as it is, but our limited alone time together I just feel blank... any one go through this?? how do I snap out of this?

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 10:56 AM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My husband and I both get like that sometimes. He's not much of a talker ever, so when I'm like that too it's really sad. We meet for lunch a lot, and sometimes we both just kind of sit there with nothing to say....it feels kind of lame and disatisfying. Sometimes when we're in one of those funks I try to think about other things to talk about and just bring them up to see where the conversation might lead. Lately when there's too much silence I bring up summer and vacation plans, getting serious about retirement planning, projects we might want to do to the house, landscaping, and what ever else I can come up with.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 2:44 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • How old is your son? Try to engage in something with him. You don't want him to get his conversation from someone else right? Thats how I always think. It scares me to death, next time he asks about your day, tell him about someone at work, or someone who cut you off or how great your lunch was or someone elses drama in the work place, anything. As for friends, i have none as well, I been trying to meet people at my sons school but thats hard too, everyone already has "their group" friends will come, at least thats what i am told. Maybe there is someone at work you can have a lunch with sometime?
    JenzAmomOf2

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 11:01 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Go out and do something fun with your hubby besides eating or a movie, something that requires physical activity and you can talk about how different or fun it is later.
    tirelessefforts

    Answer by tirelessefforts at 11:02 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • We fall into that weird silent funk at times too.  It just usually goes away after a few days. 

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 11:10 AM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • It sounds as if there's something going on with you and not just your marriage. You wash your hands of work the moment you get home, Why? You also stated that you know you need a life and friends but what I've dealt with in friends - that's not a want for me at all. Why? You do realize that one day, your son will grow up and will not need you as much as he does now, what will you do then? Find something that you feel passionate about and you never know, you may find a good friend in the process. Also, find something positive during your day that you can share with your husband.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:53 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Silent funks are ok, if it lasts for a few days every now and then. But if this is a regular ongoing problem you need to find a way to have more common ground. Like the above suggested, why don't you find an activity you all can do together, on weekends or so. My hubby my three year old and I do things together all the time like horse back riding, going to the zoo, family stuff, so you'll have time with the hubby, but you won't miss out on your son. Remember a marriage, like any relationship takes time and work.
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 12:53 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • On the weekends we are very much about family time and go to the zoo, the park, chucky cheeses, playlands, museums etc.. its just the alone time together lately I don't have much more than things about our son to talk about and I think that bothers him..
    Mom2mybabes: I have zero luck in the friends area, I always give my all to any and all relationships and they end up being so one sided and this particular last friendship was just over the edge and I get tired of being stepped on.. I recently took a Yoga Pilates class for ME to just get a hobby and will continue to more of those things when they are offered.. I have anxiety and depression and although medically treated, its not always easy to make friends either.. I feel sometimes like my son has become all I know or am anymore.. which Is fine by me, but its true, eventually he won't need me and then what...
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 12:59 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Talk to him about it.God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason.
    grismelda

    Answer by grismelda at 1:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I tell him sorry if I seem like I am in a funk but what else am I supposed to say? Sorry I have nothing to say to you unless its about our son?? that's terrible..
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 1:39 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

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