Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Dad is ready to go....

My dad is terminal with end stages of COPD he is on hospice and declining as we speak, my sister and I with the rest of the family know that he is, he asked my mom why won't god take me, I am ready and he said he is tires of hurting and struggling, my mom asked if he was worried about anything and he said yes he was he is worries about his Malia, me my mom says he needs to hear it is ok and that I will be ok.... I don't know how to do this .... so I don't upset him cause all I do is cry even now as I write I am crying

Answer Question
 
Korysmom96

Asked by Korysmom96 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Health

Level 13 (1,257 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • just that you dont need to say it any other way. just tell him that its ok to go and that you dont have to worry. it will give him the peace that he needs.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 2:02 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Sweetie there is nothing that anyone can tell u that is going to make this easier. I know because I am going through th same kind of thing, my Dad is dying with liver cancer and the feelings of helplessness and despair are unreal. Nothing will ever make them easier and when he passes NOTHING will ease that pain. They say time will, I don't know about you but I am not a patient person. I am a believer in the God and I will keep you, your mom and your Dad in my prayers.
    ky_phoenix

    Answer by ky_phoenix at 2:04 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • You just need to tell him. My grandma died in 2002 and I wasnt there. She needed us to all tell her it was alright. I had to get on the phone and tell her I was ok and that she could watch over all of us when she crossed over. My aunt refused she wanted her to stay. We had to convince her to tell her it was alright, once she did my grandma passed away within a few hours.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:04 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • U need to know he will not be suffering and he will not be worrying and hurting. I know it is hard but he needs to know that u all will be good without him.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 2:04 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I truly feel your pain and heartache. Of course you are crying, but if hearing it from you helps him in any way try to be as strong as you can and say it with tears streaming down your face. It is very hard, don't prolong his suffering. I am very very sorry for this deep loss, it is hearbreaking.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:05 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I am so sorry hun. i remember when my dad was in hospice care it was so hard. my dad would tell me those things to. I am not sure how to help sweetie because nothing i can say will take away the hurt and the pain. Just tell him you are ok and that you love him. I know it is hard to not cry around him. i used to get up and leave the room using excuse for restroom etc. then i would dry my eyes and go back to him. Hugs hun i wish i could say something to help you feel better.
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 2:05 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I am so sorry that you are going through this. When my FIL was dying I would sit, hold his hand and tell him that we all would be ok. We would be sad, miss him like crazy, but ok. I also had the kids tell them that they loved him every time we left, so they would know that he knew. I think it helped them as well.

    He passed on a beautiful summer morning, right after we had called the rabbi, funeral home and I told him that his oldest grandson had finished his week at camp.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • The death of a loved one is never easy, but he wants your approval, I would give it to him, so he doesn't hang on and be hurting...give him that peace he needs.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:10 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I had to say goodbye to my grandfather, and it was the hardest thing i ever did. I told him i love him, not to be afraid, and that i will see him again soon. And i told him that i know he will always be with me, and that i will never give up. He will always be my strength and will help me through everything. Then i kissed him as many times as i could, and held him for what seemed like forever, and that was it. As soon as he was gone, thats when i broke down.
    I didnt know how i could do it either, but my pastor told me that if i didnt, i would regret it the rest of my life. And although it was the hardest moment in my life so far (it was 3 1/2 years ago, and i am crying just thinking about it, still), i dont regret it at all. Some people never get the chance to say goodbye, and you have the chance. Do it. Say what he needs to hear, and what you need to say. Im so sorry mama. I will keep you in my thoughts ans prayers.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:16 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • i know it is very hard.I have had a few very close loved one pass away. I think it harder to watch them suffer. just spend as much time as you can with him. tell him you love him and everything is going to be ok.  Right now I know it is hard for you and it is OK to cry. There is not much more you can do for him at this point but be there with him.


    hugs

    MominCa

    Answer by MominCa at 2:19 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN