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Is it ok to not like your teen

I have a 17 yr old and the world revovles her. She gives no thought or regard to others and If I ask her to do something she acts all dramatic, does what I ask and goes to her room. The only time she talks to me is when she is not home and will text me! If someone would have told me my sweet kid was going to be this way I would have given her dad custody! I love her but I don't like her behavior, she's like a roommate not a family member. I know she wants to grow up but she's going about it the wrong way, she doesn't even have many friends and the ones she does have talk trash about her. How do I ride out these teen years without us hating eachother?Does it get better?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • it doesn't get better for a long time..sorry to say. ride it out, keep in your mind that its her and not you, if you can. That will help your sanity. Good luck. My daughter is 18 and still like that. they love you the best when they need money or something is wrong, other than that, you are stupid, ugly and you dress funny. try to laugh it off.
    AnnikaJan

    Answer by AnnikaJan at 4:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • i would take her out and start doing fun things WITH her....i dont know she sound alot like me when i was 17..im only 20 now...when my mom started being more understanding and talking to me about the lessons she learned when she was younger i felt more able to tell her things that i was going through...she might not know that friends are not supposed to be mean..i didnt..just start being more of a friend she will be 18 soon and possibly on her own learning things the hard way...thats when i came around and really thanked my mom for everything she had told me...for a while after i moved out she was my best friend...you may think she doesnt listen but the time will come when all that stuff you tell her will click.
    kharmasmom

    Answer by kharmasmom at 4:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I don't have a teen of my own but I remember my teen years. They were tough, but I'm sure they were tougher on my mom! I'm sure they will get better. I hated my mom ans was sure she hated me...but then I loved her more than anything in the world and she became my best friend. Just ride it out and be there to support you when she needs a shoulder to cry on without saying I told you so.
    Cecilia77

    Answer by Cecilia77 at 4:40 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Oh I do try to talk to her and explain the way things were when I was young and how different it is now and I try to laugh about it and be her friend.......Yeah right! makes her think I'm just a looney bird, lol!1
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • my mom didnt do anything wrong looking back at it..no matter how cool u are, personally i just loved to hate her...its easier to take things out on someone that loves you (ie your daughter on you) because u love her and no matter what you cant LEAVE her or STOP loving her...

    I am 19 and JUST realized how amazing my mother has always been
    xandersmama22

    Answer by xandersmama22 at 2:38 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • I think teens dislike themselves and so they make sure no one else likes them either - kind of a Shrek thing. Finding the thing or things that are LIKEABLE about them totally throws them off balance...it's amazing how a tiny bit of esteem motivates even the most aloof kid. But it's not easy to come to that place, because they are doing everything to fight it. Being admired / loved is a responsible position - it's MUCH easier to be (and stay) disliked.
    Sam_K

    Answer by Sam_K at 5:57 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Weather the storm, it will get easier, call her sweetheart lovely, honey , princess, dolly & all things beautiful whenever possible, but mean it & be sincere about it. Remind her that u r her mother & though there may be many things she may not agree with she must respect. Nonetheless u must be there to pick her up when she falls. I've been down this road before...It lasted four years and it wasn't pretty-- find time to nurture your spirit in the meantime read a good book, listen to music, & whatever u do DONT GIVE UP!It will get better just not for a while... a very long while. Allow her the time she needs to discover who she really is always reminding her to be true to herself & remember she is still a work in progress~ Peace, serenity, Godspeed! This too shall pass~
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Check out www.wor710.com see link to Dr. Joy Brown archives listen & call for advice. Sample her live therapy sessions. She is a no-nonsense psychotherapist and has had many calls about teenagers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • i have a 17 yr.old daughter who is exactely the same, she does have friends but most of them r my friends that she hangs out with from church, but she is so mean to mainley her family and i don't understand why she has to talk so mean to everybody there's no reason for it. i just hope it get's better cause i don't know how much more i can take but if u need someone to chat with just send me a message because i know exactely what u are going through.
    drgroves

    Answer by drgroves at 12:20 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • you should try to make it work between you and her just make a day just for you and her so yall can spend time together and talk about yall relationship and hope that yall can work it out.
    AuntieVetta

    Answer by AuntieVetta at 1:48 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

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