Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Having two babies..

I have a 15 month old and thought about having another one in a few years when my son is like 5. My son is super spoiled and a big mommys boy!! I am scared that it will hurt his feelings if I had another baby and couldn't give 100% of my time to him. And for him to see me ove on another baby. I'm so scared it will hurt him ): but I do want another baby. This is the only thing stopping me.

Has anyone else felt like this? What did u do?

Did it hurt your first child after having a second one?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I think every mommy goes through that its just a learning process he might be upset at first but i think everything will be ok
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 2:32 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Before having my second I was always afraid of loveing one more than the other, but I don't I love them both the same. I think you always have some kind of mixed feelings when deciding on another baby. We are pregnant with our 3rd now
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 2:34 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I was worried about that too, I think we all do. My daughter told my mom "I don't want it." when she said she had a baby brother lol. She got over it really fast, though, and now she LOVES her baby brother! She always wants to play with him and bring him toys and feed him. They are a little over 2 years apart. I'd have spaced them a little further apart, but oops lol. Anyway, they're great friends and they love each other very much. They make each other laugh and I know for certain that my daughter would be the poorer if we hadn't given her a brother.

    Every only child I've ever known says they wish they had siblings. I loved having lots of siblings growing up and my kids sure seem to like it :)
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:34 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • yes...I took him to sibling classes at the hospital that teaches skills on how to help and helped create a positive outlook. I bought him gifts for when the baby arrived...One was a T-shirt that said "i'm the Big Brother". I really did my very best to involve him in everything and spend good quality time with just him. I tried to really help him understand his position in the family and he was a GREAT big brother.
    He has had outside influences tell him otherwise..sometimes we do still have rivalry issues. But that is when real parenting starts..when you have more than 1 baby. BUT the good times outweigh the bad
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • My older 2 kids are 20 months apart. My son went through jealous phases but we worked through them. I took him on special dates, even if only to the store, without his sister. By the time she turned 1 they were close. Now that we are going into the teen years they are still close and stick up for each other.

    I would actually not wait if he is such a momma's boy. The more time he has alone with you might make it more difficult to transition to big brother from only child. But you have as much or little time as you want to decide.

    And I am on of those only children who wished they had had a sibling growing up. And now, too, to help me care for my mom as she ages. (I'm also the only of an only, so no first cousins either.)
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:41 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I will just say that the single greatest gift my parents ever gave me was my little sister. We are 3 1/2 years apart and were close growing up although we naturally had our moments. But now that we are adults she is my absolute best friend. When my parents divorced during our teen years we were so lucky to have each other to lean on. I was her maid of honor, she is the godmother to my baby. I can not imagine life without her, and as time goes on I know that when my parents (hopefully long in the future) need assistance or get sick or eventually pass away that I won't be alone because I will have her to go thru that with. A sibling really is a wonderful gift to give your child. They are the people who know your whole past and are most likely to be there for you in the future. And when you have a second baby your love is not divided in two, but rather doubled. Good luck.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:50 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • One more thing to consider- your son is a momma's boy now and still needs you a lot, but as he grows over the next year or two he will become more and more independent and wanting to do for himself. Eventually being Mommy's helper and Big Brother may be right up his alley. They don't stay babies forever and aren't always glued to our hips.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:52 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I think all women feel this at some point when considering having another child. It will change the family dynamic for sure, but it certainly doesn't hurt most children to have a sibling. If it did then all families would have only one child! If you are waiting until he is 5 years old it may be good or bad. My children are 25 months apart and get along great most the time. They play together well and occupy each other. My first was also much of a mama's boy, but he loved his sister from the very beginning and coped well. By waiting longer it may make the mama's boy part more of an issue or it may allow him time to become more independant.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 3:14 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • We have 5, ages 8,5,4,1 and 4 monthes, and they all get our time! Bedtime stories, SUnday is family day which is a picnic and the park/ etc. and DH and I give them 1 day out a month with just us!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 3:22 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • My 5 year old LOVES being a big sister. I just kept her involved when the new baby came along. yes, she gets jealous at times but it's normal.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 3:59 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN