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my husband thinks my daughter is the only teen that is rude and mean but i tell him we should just be glad that she is a good kid and we are not having to worry about sex and drugs like most teens her age, she only hangs out with her church friends. he is not her real dad. should i get upset that he acts like that to her

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drgroves

Asked by drgroves at 4:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Does he have kids of his own? B/C if he doesn't it may really hard for him to understand the growing pains. I say don't get upset just have a honest talk with him. More fighting will bring more tension into your house. I say pick your battles.
    Cecilia77

    Answer by Cecilia77 at 4:37 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I really don't know why he feels that your DD is rude, but I just wanted to caution you that just because they are "church" friends doesn't mean that she can't get in trouble with them.

    Growing up some of my so-called "church" friends were the biggest druggies and drinkers I knew....

    You really have to know WHO they are, NOT where she meets them....

    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 4:40 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I was in the same situation, got married when my son was 12 and now is 15 . My husband does not have any kids and at times seems to be impatient and talk to him like he was an adult telling him to do stuff and always yelling instead of asking. We had a long talk all 3 of us about 2 weeks ago because I was tired of them and being put in the middle and told them either we are going to resolve this or I leave because I couldn't take the stress. You might have a similar situation and the attitude is normal for that age with all teenagers. Talk to your hubby and your daughter because I am sure this is stress on all of you. Things have gotten better with all of us because of it and it could be they do not realize the way they treat eachother or the tone of voice they are using (my sons excuse was that is the way I talk to everyone) we had to explain we are his parents and not everyone so we need to be respected, my husband is also learning to ask and say thank you.
    jenorozco

    Answer by jenorozco at 5:10 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • does he mean that she is rude to HIM or rude to her friends and such? cause if she is being disrespectful to him cause he isnt the real father than she needs to learn to respect his position of authority just like yours.
    if its her being mean to her friends then just leave it be she will either learn from it or run her friends off.
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 7:07 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • My husband and i got married a little over a year ago and he has three children of his own. His x-wife and him seperated before their oldest son became a teenager so he never experinced living with a teenager and all the drama that it can intale. He has a difficult time relating to my oldest son. He tends to be kinda bossy with mmy son instead of asking him to do something he demands it. This just dosnt go over well. They are learning how to commuicate slowly. Just give it time. but I agree it is never ok for anybody to be disrespectful to an adult. Does your husband show her respect?
    jjohnson0217

    Answer by jjohnson0217 at 12:48 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • All kids are brats at this age... tell your husband to try to remember when he was young, and that "noone understands me" stage.
    ChasesMommy0115

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 3:18 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Absolutely not. I understand where your husband is coming from; I have a 16 year old step-daughter. Her father and I (both widowed early) married 15 months ago. She is rude and disrespectful to me and my my three sons (ages 25, 16, and 14) My boys and I moved from Florida to Michigan after the wedding and she has shown nothing but contempt for them. She said mean and nasty things about my 16 year old son prior to him starting his new high school. His peers soon found out he wasn't anything like the way she said he was. She does nothing around the house. It's been said I'm here to chauffer and clean. She hasn't spoken to me in six months and I simply refused to take her for her driver's test.
    She had even posted a video on myspace "confessing" to a sexual escapade with a former boyfriend. Dad was not a happy person when he found out!
    Consider yourself fortunate. Hopefully it's just hormonal - in a good way.
    JuneL

    Answer by JuneL at 8:00 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • I don't know. Do you get upset? If you do, then you should.
    comfycouch

    Answer by comfycouch at 12:08 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • I am a high school teacher in a middle class to upper-middle class school district. Yes, girls can be rude, mean and snotty. For some, this attitude becomes a way of navigating the social structure of high school. Sadly, there is often no parent at home to label the unacceptable behavior (rude/mean) of the child and offer alternative responses for the teen to try when awash in fits of hormones and perceived threats.

    You should make it clear to your daughter that "rude" and "mean" are not acceptable in your home.
    Rent the movie "Mean Girls" and watch it together. Point out ugly behavior right when you see it. Let her know the consequences of the behavior (which you and your husband agree on prior to watching the movie) and be ready to dig in your heels and enforce them. Good luck!

    coldsundevil

    Answer by coldsundevil at 12:39 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • OMG! You need him to hang out at her school for awhile. Teens are all rude(except mine)heehee........I would be more worried if the kids act like saints around you, since then you know they are being fake, and are up to something! I am appolled at the kids mouths these days, but, it isn't a reflection on the parents, just them, trying to be "cool"!
    40sthenew20

    Answer by 40sthenew20 at 9:32 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

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