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How can I get my 16 month old to listen to me?????????

My 16 month old daughter is very active and rarely finds any toy that holds her interest for a long period of time. Her favorite things to do are climb on furniture, get into every cupboard, drawer, or anything in her reach. She throws things when she's mad, and will throw herself on the ground and just lay there and kick and scream just randomly. She did this today when I picked her up from school. We were walking out the door and my 4 year old was in front of me, and I was holding onto my 16month old's hand and then she just dropped herself to the floor and laid flat and started whining, but then got mad when I picked her up and tried to get back down. It's like she wants to be picked up and held, but she wants to get down at the same time. Everything I do is wrong and she's always crying and whining. Everytime I say "NO" there's a fit.
My oldest NEVER acted like this, so I am really frustrated and confused as to why my second child is such a brat. She is so fussy and seriously I can't take her anywhere because she causes such a scene everywhere we go. I need some advice on how to handle a toddler that acts like this. I am going CRAZY.

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Asked by sugaree at 4:23 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 14 (1,457 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Not a brat - a toddler with a strong will - this is my son to a T - lol!~ Get a book on raising strong willed children.. my niece was NEVER like this either so there is such a difference in some kids.. good luck!!!! you'll need it.. my son is a strong willed 3 year old now with a sassy mouth -

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • my son is also 16mnths i started puting him in te corner it has been working really well if he is playing with a toy and starts a tantrum i take the toy away for the day

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 4:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I will look for a book on this! I'm willing to try anything. I just cannot believe the way she acts. She never gives up or gives in. It's so tiring :(

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 4:27 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • not to worry you but have you had her tested or anything.
    secondly she could just be acting out

    wish i could have more to give you momma

    Answer by ohioautsimmommy at 4:28 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Tested for what?
    She just had her 15 month well-child visit and they said nothing is wrong with her, she is just active.
    She doesn't get enough sleep because she refuses to take naps on most days.

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 4:29 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Seriously? She is still a BABY!!!!! Her attention span in about 2 minutes. She is not going to listen to you. Most toddlers don't listen because they are babies. Have some patience and keep SHOWING her appropriate behavior. She will listen as she develops, her attention span will develop and lengthen as she grows older.

    Also, your daughter is NOT a brat so quit thinking of her that way and definatley, do NOT call her a brat. Every child is different so don't comapre her to your son.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:29 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I'm looking for helpful advice.
    Not opinions from people who are going to be assholes.

    Comment by sugaree (original poster) at 4:30 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • People who tell you this is "toddler" only has never had to care for a strong willed overly active toddler/child.. sorry - email me if you want support or advice. There IS A difference in temperments - yes toddlers are hard but this takes it to an extreme

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:33 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Sounds like she is a strong-willed child, and yes, I had one of those. The best thing you can do for her is to tell her once to get out of whatever she's into, and if she doesn't immediately obey you, give her a swat on her bare leg that is hard enough to sting. That will make her madder, but if you will consistently do that, you can train her to respect and obey you, which is really what this is all about. She wants to be in control, and right now she is doing that to you. You should be the one who is in control, and she can be taught that you will be or else she will suffer some painful consequences. We always spanked our other children for disobedience and disrespect. I swore I would never spank as a part of potty training, but after many mornings in a row of having this sweet little girl sit on the potty for 30 minutes, refusing to pee, then promptly upon being put in her high chair for breakfast, peeing in the floor.....

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:41 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • my 14 month old doesn't listen to me either. she is also very stubborn and strong willed! all of my kids are actually, karma biting me in the ass i guess because i was the same way with my mom. so i now have 3 very strong willed daughters. anyway my husband puts her in her playpen everytime she repeatedly gets into something she shouldn't. she is very bright, she understands a lot of things you say to her but she refuses to accept the word "No." so in the playpen she goes. miraculously its been working.. now i only have to tell her no once and she will listen. she hates timeout!

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

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