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What is your opinion?

my bf looks at pics or semi naked pics of girls, and no its not porn. should i worry bout it or no? ive confronted him about it. is it really a serious matter? or should i worry only if he is cheating? i mean to me looking at pics, talking to girls u tried to hook up with or did hook up with, and talking about sex to others really upsets me. i have respect for him, i love him and thats why i stopped talking to ppl ive tried or did hook up with ( i dont necessarily mean sex). ive deleted them off my fb and my phone. but now im thinking i made a mistake if im not gonna get the same respect back. seriously, every day and every night i have so much going through my head, that im always feeling upset or cant sleep for hours. and then i have these thoughts of what he might be doing. and it irritates me, i just want to get rid of it. i have been hurt before due to the same reasons and thats why i feel like this with him although he shows me so much that he loves me and wants to be with me forever.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If it bothers you at all then yeah, worry about it. It may not fit society's definition of porn - but it's still sexualized images used to generate an arousal right?

    Some people (I don't know why) are not bothered by partners who are using pornography - but it is an established thing that pornography use escalates over time.

    Talk to him about it and see where it goes. You can search the internet and find out allot about porn and the damage it often does to relationships.
    angelmommy11

    Answer by angelmommy11 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • to me, porn isn't a big deal, but I would be upset if my husband was looking at pictures of a naked woman he was also talking about sex with. That's crossing a line. If he's not going to make those sacrifices for you then he's not serious about you and doesn't care.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I would have less of a problem with my husband looking at porn (which he does) than with him looking at semi naked pictures of girls he actually knows (and has possibly hooked up with) in real life. Porn is just a fantasy, but still being connected sexually with other women (talking about sex to them, seeing naked pictures of them), that's crossing a line, and completely disrespectful.

    I still talk to several of my exes, and my husband is still in touch with some of his, but as FRIENDS only, nothing sexual about it.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 7:02 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Well dont' know what to tell you. I've been married for 19 years and I could, personally, care less what kind of pics my hub looks at. I also don't care who he talks to. I'm very secure with him and our marriage, and if he wants to look at pics of half naked or fully naked women....more power to him. We are married NOT dead and we both appreciate good looking peeps. You need to figure out why you are so insecure, is he making you feel that way because he's not paying attention to you or says negative things to you? If thats the case, the problem is HIM, not the naked pics. But if the insecurity is all on you, then that's something you need to look at and fix, otherwise you won't have a healthy relationship with anyone
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 7:03 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Some people (I don't know why) are not bothered by partners who are using pornography - but it is an established thing that pornography use escalates over time.

    That's easy...I have a very secure marriage and porn doesn't replace me, nor does it replace him. Sometimes people need a physical release without having to worry about a partners needs, it's normal, and porn can sometimes give a personal release very quickly so the day can go on lol.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 7:05 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Zakysmommy, in general I agree with you, but I think the issue is that these naked pictures are not of random women, but women he knows, and has (or has tried to) had sex with... To me, that IS crossing a line.

    As for pornograpy use escalating over time, I don't agree with that at all. My husband can watch as much porn as he wants, and it doesn't bother me. It's just a visual aid, nothing personal .
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 7:22 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Porn is definitely not the issue here. We both know that each other watches porn. I tell him. He tells me. But yes, it's people he knows or people who talk to him through facebook.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

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