Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Such a slap in the face !!!

We have been married for almost 32 years and we have 4 kids and 3 grandkids....

BUT he had a " midlife crisis" and had an affair with a 20-something twit ( when my children visited him she was there making lunch... she actually thought you had to turn hotdogs while they were boiling !!! ) ....

Well after a few months it ended ( of course) and he begged to come back -- I am having fun with my new life , we were together since I was 16, he is the only man I have ever been with and so far my life has only consisted of taking care of him and our children, and now I get to have "me time" .. but of course I have considered it since we were together for so long and I wasnt sure I wanted to give up the grandma and grandpa life ( now I am just living the mamaw life lol ) ...

So anyways I told him we should take it slow again and maybe have some fun "dating" and maybe after time I could forgive him ... UNTIL I realized he had gotten a tattoo of the twits name...not just a little tattoo but a large one ...... the only tattoo he has. I even thought of getting a small tattoo before but he talked me out of it telling me it was "ridiculous" ..and now I find out he did this... I just dont think it will even be right again !!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Sorry momma that sucks. But you should enjoy your alone time I am moving out in april to get my own time.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:23 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I'd tell him I'll take you back if you let me burn the tattoo off you. That get him to leave you the hell alone.

    Answer by jfblaine83 at 10:24 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • wow --- thats tough! He would definitly have to have the tattoo removed -- which I hear is painful and expensive -- But he deserves it! I would make him sweat for a good long time and he would have to EARN the privelige of having me back! PFFFT! g'luck to you!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 10:25 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • All I keep saying is I feel so sad for you 32 years of marriage. I just do not know, what was he thinking. Well you have to do what your heart tells you to do. OMG that is so long being married. I will be married for 18.5 years. I was young when getting married. You never would think they would do such a thing. "HUGS"

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • it will never be the same ( the same is not always good either of coarse ) be strong and dont get back with him , the resentment that will come at some point will be horrific and not end - it will always be there.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 10:27 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • that is a slap in the face.. I think you should NOT feel guilty enjoying what is your right -- your own time. Perhaps this breach in trust is too big for you to live with.

    Answer by Camilletnt at 10:29 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • With him having done that, you get a free slip to behave as you want. Just realize that if you do get back together you both have to deal with what both of you did in between. It comes down to what you need to do to come to terms with what he has done to you and to feel peace in your life again. I wish you all the luck in figuring it out. I'm sorry there is no set rule as to what to do.

    Answer by at 10:39 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • I would tell him that maybe you could date again while he received his tattoo removal treatments. They take several treatments over the course of time.

    That is a long time to just throw away on a fling. I would also be hesitant for you to give up what you have been able to do for yourself during this time away. Tell him what you have experienced while he was having his, ahem, experiences, and that you are unwilling to go back to spending your life catering to him after something like that.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:18 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • There are a lot women for every man. He will find another one so enjoy your Me Time. Every time you see that tattoo you'd be reminded of his little fling and you are right, it will never be right again. Sometimes it's just time to see what life has to offer you. It sounds like you are open to finding that out. Enjoy

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:42 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Well your right it won't ever be the same again especially since he Cheated on you, he has found out first hand that the grass wasn't greener on the other side and now wants to come back. Hey your having the time of your life and you don't need anymore issues with this man if he had a mid life crises he will have one again if the next right girl comes alone.
    Just date him and have fun dating other people and let him know your happy with this arrangement for now and you will see what happens over time.
    And putting a Hugh tatoo on himself was stupid especially if he isn't with the girl his fault, he's not ready for you....Live and be happy there is no room in a marriage for cheaters....the trust is gone

    Answer by dusty1962 at 12:59 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships