So up to this point I have had an amazing marriage ( 4 years) we have a 3 year old son together and I have a 6 year old daughter that he basically raises ( her bio dad just pops up randomly) .
We recently moved back to his hometown because homes are cheaper here and I liked the idea of being around family ( his parents and sisters live here) . We got a great house and settled in and everything was great, we even found a wonderful church that has really made an impact on our lifes ( we just feel like we are living a more "honest" life) .
Well over the last couple of months I found out that he has been trying to get in contact with his high school girlfriend , not to date her or to be with her but to "have closure" . He said he treated her very badly, even cheated on her and it ended with him and the new girlfriend basically harrassing her for no reason, and she even quit school to get away from them. Of course that was a shock to me becuase that sounds nothing like him ( I really havent even ever heard him raise his voice). He explained to me that she was his first love ( first everything) and that she was so in love with him but he constantly cheated on her, called her names, etc. Of course hearing all of this made me feel like I had to puke ( I am not sure if it was about how badly he acted or that he was still thinking of her)
That was 7 years ago I assumed that he shouldnt still think of her and worry about telling her he was sorry , he says that he is happy with our marriage and would never risk losing our family but it has always bothered him and now since going to church has opened his eyes he just feels like he had to tell her that.
So ever since that conversation I have been worried over this and started checking his Facebook . I finally seen the one he wrote to her and she wrote back.... he basically said that he had always wanted to say he was sorry for how he treated her and had hoped that she found someone that treated her right and had a good life... She replied saying that she forgave him a long time ago and she got married a year later and is very happy.
That was all they put. But I cant get rid of these feelings.
To top it off we live a street away from each other and I constantly see her out walking with her kids ( we live close to a park too ) ... I just found out our daughters are on the same T-ball team and I am so scared about going to the ballpark and my husband seeing her there ( she is so pretty ) .
I have tried to tell him how I feel and he says I shouldnt be upset because he told me everything, gives me his internet password and since I talk to guys ( friends) it shouldnt matter and that since they dont have actual conversations (I see where sometimes they will "like" each others statuses and stuff) ... and he just thinks that I shouldnt be so mad, but I am - I am mad and I hate her... I honestly wish we could lose our house so we could move away ...
Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by coala at 10:44 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by mrs.coop at 10:46 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
I don't think he's done anything wrong. You can let it go and move on or let your insecurities ruin your relationship.
Answer by skittles1108 at 10:47 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:57 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
I really think you are Worrying for Nothing! if he still had feelings for her, i doubt very seriously he would of gave you Heads-Up about everything- Let it Go- Instead of Hating her-(those are some Strong Words!) why don't you take the time to get to know her some- you are going to have to be around her at your daughters games- she might surprise you & you guys might end up being friends...... Don't Ruin your marriage over something that your husband needed Closure on! Wishing you lots of luck-
Answer by daisyb at 11:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by sweetpea1217 at 11:07 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by armywife43 at 11:24 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by armywife43 at 11:29 PM on Mar. 24, 2011
Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:10 AM on Mar. 25, 2011