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How to get boyfriend to spend time outside the apartment?

My 3 year old relationship is in a rut. We ( me and my man) don't ever get out of the apartment anymore that much. He's the one that wants to stay home mostly. Unless it's super convenient for him like he can get a free ride or take the bus there and back. The free community activities that go on are Downtown. It would take us a hr walk to go there and back. I honestly don't mind walking there and back a couple times a wk. I crave to get out of the apartment 2-3x a week. I feel it's a need for myself and this relationship to get out and do new things. This relationship seems dull and sex is the only thing I look forward too. My relationship would be so much more better with quality time and heart to heart conversations. It seems talking to him about this is hopeless. I have wrote how I felt and told him in person what I want. Nothing has changed. I do have my own hobbies and interests I do quite often during the week outside the home. I feel he doesn't value the relationship the way I do. I wish he would compromise with me. It would do him some good too, being inside all the time is not healthy. Sometimes when I come back from these activities, he's superloving and really wants to do something inside our home. Why can't he suggest something outside the damn apartment.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Does he work? Go out for regular stuff? (Shopping, maybe dinner once a week or something, etc.?)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Nope he doesn't work. He's a gamer and sits by his PC everyday.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:57 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Maybe he's depressed?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • that's what I'm starting to maybe think
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:00 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • My daughter is 24 and in the same boat. They live together they have a baby who is 7 months old but they do nothing together. He rots in that apartment. She shops alone, goes out alone, goes on trips alone. My advise to you is the same as it is to her. Think more of yourself, want more fore yourself. You may love him but love isnt always the glue to a relationship. If he is not being a part of you outside the home, taking you places, being your best friend and partner then you need to decide if you want a life alone(even tho hes there0 or if you want to move on and find someone who wants what you want. My daughter didnt do anything about it, now they have the baby and he is no help she has to take him with her everywhere and she is basically a single mom with a roommate. that life sucks, your worth more than that and I dont even know you. Be happy
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • He helps out with my kids, that's one of the good things about him. He have this agreement, if I do dishes, he will cool. Right now, we got a break from the kids. So I would like to get out of the house as much as possible.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • oops, If I do the dishes, he will do all the cooking.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:07 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • My daughters boyfriend is a gamer to and is laid off. She gets up for work at 5:30am and he is crawling in bed then sleeps all day. Hes not depressed hes lazy. SHe pays all the bills, does all the cleaning, takes care of everything and he reaps the benefits and has to do nothing. You really need to think about what you want your future to be share it with him tell him things need to change or move on. You need a relationship and a partner not a child.
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 11:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • sorry to hear that. Talk to him about it again. tell him how importat it if for you to get out there, with him. If you liek 3 times a week and he none, them maybe start with once a week. If you do something fun that he will enojoy too then maybe he will like to do it more often. So if hes not working I guess you are? Then I would let him do a lot more around the house, mayeb the he want to go out and get away from teh house work.
    Well I hope it wores out.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 11:20 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • He lets me sleep in when I need a break, watches them when I need a break, will watch them when I need to go to AA,
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:20 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

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