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2 Bumps

How do I get my 29 yr. old daughter to quit living in the past?

In the 80's, my ex wouldn't let my daughter's biological dad see her as often as he wanted too. Any gift he had for her was never given to her by my ex. Now her real dad and I have been together for 15 years and she is terribly jealous of her 14 yr. old brother that her real dad spoils him and didn't her. Any thoughts?

Answer Question
 
sowronged48

Asked by sowronged48 at 11:41 PM on Mar. 24, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • They could go see a counselor together??????

    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 11:45 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • Where has your daughter been for the last 15 years? Wasn't she included in the family activites with her younger brother?

    It sounds like a case of too little too late to me. She is an adult, she needs to find a way to cope with this. Her bio. dad could set aside a day for her, but at her age the damage is done, it appears to me. If she can't move past it, I agree, she needs to seek professional help.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:58 PM on Mar. 24, 2011

  • You can't really make her do anything. These are her feelings and her's to deal with if she chooses. Yes, it can be annoying, but just tell yourself this is hers to deal with, and keep telling her where the water is for when she is ready to drink if you catch my drift.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:00 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Maybe talk to her about this. Or a councilor would be a good idea.
    Hatsumomo

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 12:10 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • only you ncan change you, she needs counseling you all might want to go with her
    lovelife1127

    Answer by lovelife1127 at 11:02 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • She should go to therapy to discuss her feelings. Apparently there is a feeling of loss on her end....like she missed out. It is usually not normal for an adult her age to be jealous of a child...so I'm thinking she may be mourning a part of her childhood that she lost. I would also tell her that she can't change people or the past. The only thing she can change is how she reacts to situations. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 1:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • hugs

    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 12:21 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Counseling for ALL. You need to find out why you let your EX dictate when your daughter would see HER FATHER. I would be more mad at you than my bio dad.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:47 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • yes, why is she jealous of her younger brother? and why would you let another man tell you to tell her when she can or cannot see her father? i have to say, i can't really blame her on this one. i think you need to include her in more things. maybe that would help.
    john2007

    Answer by john2007 at 8:53 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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