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Do Your Children Run The House?

It seemed like not so long ago my kids were all sweet and innocent and never did anything wrong, but boy has that changed. Almost over night in fact. It happened just a few weeks ago when they turned 12 and 13. My dh and I are high school sweethearts and yes we started out young having kids, I was 15 and he was 16. We have always tried to do the best we can, but now the kids are getting out of control and I am feeling depressed about it. They don't listen to anything anymore, they seem to do what they want. Bad Attitudes prevail, and I am losing my energy with it. They are not sweet anymore.Any one have any advice? Our kids are running the house, instead of us! What to do to make it better, so we can restore the peace?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • LOL, welcome to the teen years,I'm not laughing at you but with you cause, laughter will help. When they hit the teen years, watch out, phewwwwww. don't start drinking even if you want too, don't do drugs even if you want too, just wait. It does get better. You have to learn to deal with a teen,(I know some won't agree with that),but, you really do. All of them are different but kinda the same if you know what I mean.Compromises sometimes work, but, not all the time. The best thing to do is learn to ask questions and learn to speak in their language.If you know what they are talking about, then you now what questions to ask. Don't give them everything they want, make them work for it. They want respect but so do you. Its something you have to learn as you go, but remember they can hear much bettter when you don't scream. Its the real quiet voice that they can hear and the one they don't like.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:38 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Stand your ground and be consistent. When they act up there needs to be consequences. Not all teens behave this way. Your kids know there are not consequences so they behave anyway they want. You need to get back the control you gave to your children and do it quickly. Do you really want to be a grandma in a couple years?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Do they drive? My guess is no. You do. So don't drive them to places they want to go if they are not respectful. Do they have cell phones? If they are like most tweens and teens my guess is yes. So if they are not respectful take those. And everything else, including clothes, can be packed away to be earned back by showing respect, using appropriate language, and good choices. Do you cook them dinner? You don't have to. If they are old enough to "run" your house then they are old enough to make their own meals and do their own laundry. Don't do it. Just don't. Your job is to provide them with food, clothing, shelter, and safety. That is all. So have basic food items, clothes only for a few days for each child (they earn those), and they have a roof. They respect you then you will do more. Respect yourself enough to not let them walk on you.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 4:45 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • No, my kids don't run my house.. They are 15 & 19yrs old.. I taught them at a VERY young age about respect.. My kids aren't perfect, FAR from it.. BUT they do respect ME and my DH.. In your case I would get control and I would do it quick before it is too late.. When they start misbehaving, I would start taking away stuff.. Phone, tv, games, computer, etc.. It will probably get worse before it gets better, in the battle.. Then after a couple of weeks of nothing to play w/ or no tv they will start to get the idea.. Just DON'T give in!!! Stand your ground!! They will try stunts like "I hate you" and stuff like that.. That's kids for ya.. That will pass. As long as you can stay strong and IN CONTROL you'll win.. AND you will have the respect you deserve.. Good luck..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 2:15 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • my 12 yr old does,
    miamimom2

    Answer by miamimom2 at 1:44 AM on Dec. 5, 2008