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4 Bumps

I am much more than just a mom..

How to find a balance between being you and being a mother? I am a recently single mother of a 2 year old and I feel like I have just become a mom and that's it. How do I find myself and have a life? I feel like I don't really know how to find myself again when I am around a terrible two almost all day feeling stressed? Anyone out there going through this or have suggestions to help?

 
dbodani

Asked by dbodani at 1:36 AM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 15 (1,925 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You won't get your life back in one felt swoop but I think you do need to find a way for "me " time and to figure out where it is you want to go It seems like forever Several months ago I felt trapped, overwhelmed and burst into tears watching a rare moment of adult TV because there was some big rock group on that I had never heard of. I realized that I had no idea what was in style, I had lost all touch with the world and myself. I wrote down a list of what I felt like I was missing and it was everything from lost career goals to my touch with reality. I picked some little things and started to make a plan of what I could do in the future, what I could do now and what was really missing. Some of my solutions were silly things like adding five minutes to the day to read the news. Sometimes knowing I plan to take cake decorating when my son is five makes me feel like my life is on hold a bit but not not lost.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 11:12 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • You can try to get a baby sitter and treat yourself out. I know easier said then done!
    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 1:44 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It is good to find time for yourself. Do you have someone in your family or a friend who could watch your child while you get some time for yourself? I have a 4 yr old boy and he can get to my nerves. I love him beyond words, but a little relief from my mom or MIL is always so welcome. Hope someone can help you, honey.
    Ruthmom802

    Answer by Ruthmom802 at 1:45 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • @kbishop8688...thats kinda mean, she said "recently", good be he left or god forbid passed away.
    Anyway dbodani, a good support system would go a long way, or really good teenage girls that have cheap rates for babysitting. Or if u cn take them to a park, exhaust them to the point they fall asleep in their dinner plate, put them to bed, have some me time. Take the baby monitor if u have one, I still do and shes 2. Then get the tub full of your fav scent a few candles, some wine.....realx and find th inner u. Or invite a friend over and have a "make over" session, talk about what ever and he rule be NO KID talk. Ain't much I know, but it gives u an adult to talk to, vent to ect. GL
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:56 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • i too faced a smiliar situation when my hubby when my hubby to Eroupe for office work... i was working and so when i come home pick baby up(she was 1.5 yrs old back then) from my parents ,i was so tired... then i feed her , she goes to bed by 9. after 9 i clean the house, tidy everything then by 11 i am done.... but i have my shower then.... shower goes on till 12 midnight then till 1 i watch TV, and yes i was sleep deprived but if i went on without my OWN Time i wouldn't have survived...
    NADJ

    Answer by NADJ at 8:00 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Sorry for the bad editing, I meant to say it seems like your trapped forever but kindergarten is right around the corner...
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 11:13 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • honestly you should have done that before having kids.. ME TOO!! Sleep is the key to having a sane and almost stress free day! As for yourself.. it depends does the dad have anything to do with your child, if so take that time to do what you like to do. I found (last weekend) that I enjoyed having a few girls over, made bread, watched a movie during nap time and crocheting was very relaxing and something I would like to do again. Personally I am not up for going out weekends, but something fun here works.. even with my 3yr old home!
    kbishop8688

    Answer by kbishop8688 at 1:43 AM on Mar. 25, 2011