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3 Bumps

Would You give her the money?

My family took in my niece and baby last year cause she had no where to go (homeless), she and the baby lived with us for 7 months, we never asked for a dime from her and bought everything they needed. Anyway, she said we could file her and the baby on our taxes cause she never worked (milks the system for all it's worth)! This is all legit, the accountant said sure we could claim them. She keeps bugging me about that money, asking when it is coming and had the nerve to ask me to see our paperwork yesterday! My husband and I both agreed to give her some of it to be nice and help her out but now that she's copping attitude and asking to see our personal tax info, my hubby is pissed and doesn't want to give her a dime! My big hang up is I'm very attached to my little baby niece and if we don't give her $ she wont let us see the baby anymore! would u give her the $ knowing she will blow it on partying etc... She's a terrible mother that uses this baby to get all she can off the system and I can't imagine not seeing her baby that I adore! Any advise, I don't know what to do here! Thanks ladies, sorry this was long.

 
anichols1

Asked by anichols1 at 6:17 AM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,058 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Nope you claimed her on your taxes cuz she is like a child of yours. She has no biz seeing your tax papers she probably just wants to see how much your refund is so she can ask for money. I think she needs you to much to disappear w baby takes to much responsibility .
    msboerschinger

    Answer by msboerschinger at 6:45 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • You should explain to her that its called INCOME TAX RETURNS. She has no income....and that means she gets no RETURN. I think she needs to be told that. She needs to know that its YOUR RETURN for everything you purchased for them. Tell her that you were under than impression when you filed. If you want to give her a portion of it...then do so, but not without telling her the situation.

    You should also mention that if she plays games then you can play them better and go to court for custody of her little one. She has no right to request your personal documents, She has no right to request that money, and she has no right to pin her child against you.
    Wish2Be

    Answer by Wish2Be at 7:22 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • You might suggest that the rent you should have been charging her will come out of that money first. She is being very selfish. Do not show her any tax documents.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:36 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • She is using her baby as a threat to get what she wants and it looks like its a desperate new low for her. If you dont give her the money, maybe start writing down how long she lived there and how much everything costed in case you need to bring the situation to court, she may get angry and not let you see the baby anymore but then after some time come to realize it was a stupid idea unless she is that selfish that she will hold her grudge.

    maybe put it this way...next time she says "if you dont give me the money, i wont let you see the baby anymore." then you need to throw the paper with the listed expenses in her face and say "if you want to play that game, i'll see you in court so you can pay these expenses off."
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 7:48 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I would not give in to any of her demands. Your personal tax information is none of her business. The most I would do with a part of the refund is buy her and the child a new outfit, or toy, or something they've been wanting or talking about. And I would not start to allow her to use the paper as leverage. Good Luck.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:42 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • IF IF IF you were to give her money.... do it in the form of opening up an account in Niece's name ONLY.... with YOUR name as the other on the account. That way money is going towards niece for the future.....
    Can also get some sort of Savings Bond.

    I'm not going to say do or dont give her money - Just be smarter on how you do it IF you do.
    I will say that Hell would freeze over before she saw my return!
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 8:25 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Well, when she said you could claim him...did she say you had to give her the money that you would be getting because of that baby? Did you guys agree on that before you claimed him?

    I would ask her why she expects you to just pay for everything for her & then when you get some money back for that child, now She wants it? Even though you have been raising that child financially? I would tell her no, that you need the money because you have been supporting them. She has no right to the money if she has not payed a dime into raising her child while she was living with you. Maybe I'd giver her a very little amount.

    I DEFINITELY would not show her my tax documents, that is VERY personal info in there...none of her business....

    writing down your expenses that you payed out for her & the baby would be great....she needs to see how much it costs to support someone & their baby.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:39 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I would take the portion of the money you were going to give her and buy the baby things she needs. That way you know what the money is spent on and the baby is provided for which she's obviously not too concerned about.
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 7:05 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • First off, she has no claim to that money to begin with. It was your money paying to care for her and your niece so you claimed her as a dependent. If you were nice enough to tell her you'll give her SOME, she should be patient enough to wait for it. You should lock your tax and other personal documents in a strong box and never let her know where the key is. I would remind her that your personal financial statements are not her business and she will not get copies or views of your tax documents. Perhaps I'd then ask when she is moving or going to start contributing to the household. I know you adore the baby, but if you keep being a crutch for your neice, you're only going to make things worse and she'll never grow up. Maybe a reality check is what she needs to become a better mom to her little one.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:46 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Tell her the next time she asks for the money that you would like to just buy the baby somethings ie clothes and diapers. If she doesn't like that then tell her that is the only way you can help her out right now.If she runs off she will be back. trust me people like that always come back when they need or want something.
    Liamsmom09

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 8:57 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

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