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Update on my sister giving my 4 yr old neice for adoption, please no rude remarks.

Ok so she has made an appointment the with Job and Family service adoption cordinator and she asked me go with her and I will. She told me she thinks this is the best thing for her daughter. Which i agree with but am trying not to get my opinion to involved. My sister has started to receive emails and phone calls from other family members telling her she is a horrible mother and a discusting person. I told her that she is doing what she thinks is best for her daughter and that makes her an unselfish and loving mother and a good person. She is not upset at all really with what she is doingand i am hoping that will make it easier for her.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • OK-Rephrasing that last part. (You might not ever see her again.) It's coming off like I don't appreciate the effort that you've already put in for the last 4+ years. Thanks for the MRDD explanation, I thought that was it, but wasn't sure. There ARE people who don't want babies, but do want older children and have a heart for special needs children. I just pray that you find THEM and not someone who will take advantage of your sister and I would imagine that even YOU want to see your niece is well taken care of. Even if your sister doesn't yet. Her feelings may change about seeing her and not seeing her. IF she's going to go into this, make sure that she "asks for the moon" and is bold about pics and updates and/or visits if that's her wish. I just wanted to warn you about being "discerning" when talking to the agency. They are about the $$$. Take care.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:28 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Why doesn't one of these concerned relatives adopt the child? Sounds better for everyone anyway.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:37 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • honestly she knows whats best and when her child is an adult im sure she will understand. I know some in that same exact situation her family totally disowned her but they ended up all comin back around when they realized she did what was right. She knew she could not give the baby everything it would need.

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 8:40 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I would be very concerned! Many people that can't have a child want to adopt an infant, not a 4 year old child. I would be afraid that she might spend years in foster care, or even her entire childhood in the system! What a sad, sad situation.

    Answer by missanc at 9:03 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It does make me tear up a little.... for all of the broken hearts that's involved here. I can only imagine how hard a decision this must be for her and for those who support her. I'd give my eye teeth if I could adopt a precious child. Especially a little girl. Poor baby, there's gonna be such hard times ahead for her. I find myself wanting to just hug her until all this is over.

    I'm sorry I'm probably not being supportive of you (per se) I just can't get this little girl off my mind.

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 9:45 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • There are many couples out there who are unable to have their own child and hopefully they will find your niece and give her a wonderful life. You are a good sister to be helping with this difficult decision.

    Answer by at 8:38 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Is there no family member that can take her for a while, or does she know for sure that she just doesn't want this child and will never change her mind? I'm certainly not bashing her if she knows in her heart,, that she's making the right decision. I really can't imagine what thats gonna be like for a 4 yr. old, I would think it would be easier if she were an infant but if thats her decision then i really hope she gets a good family. Your a good sister standing by her!


    Answer by anichols1 at 9:20 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I just hope the little one is ok with all of this.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 9:38 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I can not imagine how the little one could ever be ok with this, this breaks my heart and i wish i did not have to read another word about this. This child is ruined for life. People want babies they rarely adopt older children, this is sooo sad! I wish I could take her. I can't believe you have a family where NO ONE wants this child. I'm not sure why you are posting? Looking for it to be excepted? You want praise for being a supportive sister? Sorry, no can do. People who have heavy hearts for children are emotionally disturbed by this whole thing, it literally ruined my week. Children are a blessing and deserve to be treated as such. This is why CHILDREN should not have sex. They think they can throw their kids away like trash. She is a child not an old pair of jeans. People hold on to their old clothes longer then she is holding on to her child. Sick and sad.

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 10:05 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Why doesn't someone from the family adopt her, so that she doesn't lose her entire family?
    I agree that if she really, honestly feels this is the best for her daughter then she should do it. We don't know the situation, so we can't really asy that she's doing anything wrong. However, I do believe that she should ask a family member to take her in. Someone she trusts to take care of her. That way the little girl can remain within the family.

    Putting a child up for adoption is seriously a stress and strain on them. You're uprooting them from everything they know and they may never be adopted by another family. Most families look to adopt infants. Therefore, I really think she should consider seeking out a family member to adopt her.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:08 AM on Mar. 25, 2011