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I know I should leave, but why do I want to stay? What should I do?

My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year now, now since his friends and families relationships are rocky and ending- he makes our relationship toxic- when infact it was wonderful, at least from my point of view.. up until now- he gets mad at everything, and everything is my fault. for example these where the topics of our fights, 1. I told him off that I dont like being told point blank, I need me time, and not to complain, and that I am smoothering him, when I havent been doing anything but sitting in my home- how can you smoother someone when you dont talk to them? I shouldnt be yelled at for something I may or may not do, because he wants to yell and make it clear that he has stuff to do, and that not one o f those things is me. 2. Fight I wanted to put my notebook on the desk, and got a big lecture about how if I put my stuff down, his stuff will get messed up, and that he doesnt want to see that, etc, and I am hella messy because I put a warrenty where the rent recpiets go, etc, and after being lectured like a kid, and I said nevermind I would put it on top of my dresser, and he got mad at me for not wanting to put it on the desk, and said I was giving him looks. 3. I was coupon clipping and found a good deal to get cleaning supplies, he said that we didnt need them and that he was just trying to save a buck, after he already spent over 200 dollars on himself, and it bothered me I couldnt get cleaning supplies, so I didnt want to yell, i wrote him a letter explaining that it bothered me, then he yelled at me that I was a little kid, and that it shouldnt have bothered me, yell in my face that he has no intentions of marrying me or having kids which I desperatly want= that he doesnt want a relationship, he doesnt want to work on anything to improve his problems after getting to the point where I was so scared/hurt/emotional that I was throwing up, weak, headache, he treated me with love and said we will work on it. that was sunday, yesterday was Thursday, and it started again. 4. Fight I said we needed Towelit paper. I asked him why he was getting mad at me for saying that, and he acted like he wanted to hit something-- All the weight is on him to do everything he says, because I dont drive-- I do take the bus, and have made it clear to him that I can take the bus, and have taken the bus to do things, but he doesnt want me too, he yells if I say I am-- what can I do? I cant take the bus to get groceries because he will get mad at me, I can't ---- I dont know.... I have no dreams/ I cant dream with him-- I dont even know if I love him anymore-- I am not good enough for him, i guess--
I go to work everyday, I have been at my job for almost 5 years, I pay the bills, I clean most of the time I am the only cleaning, cooking, and he complains to everyone I am dirty and I dont do nothing-- but he tells me not to clean, but makes it one of his reasons to fight.... I dont know... I should go...... but why do I want to stay-------------------------------

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • you probably want to stay because you feel sorry for him. just leave. he needs to pull himself together before a real relationship can happen.

    Answer by febmom007 at 10:23 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • You want to stay because its easier to keep that "routine" instead of starting over. It's hard, you want to believe things will be different but that rarely ever happens. Women want to see good in people all the time. Get out now, you deserve better! You are not his child you are his girlfriend and seems like thats all you will ever be. Be strong and have more respect for yourself. Think if you had a daughter what would you tell her to do? You will be better off! Good luck and get a fresh start!

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 10:29 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • He is an emotional abuser my ex is this way and when it is said and done only you can leave and when you decide to and you will know take care of yourself you deserve better. We can say leave but for right now sit down and write what you deserve and what you will get from this relationship. is it going to be better with him or better alone? Until then (((HUGS)))) decide how much you can take and how much you you want for yourself and how this is going to happen with him in your life?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • The hardest part of ending is starting again.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:36 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Don't count on things changing. If you want CHANGE, then make it yourself! Get out of there before he hurts you even more. Its not healthy. I hate to say it but its a GOOD thing he doesn't want children...he obviously wouldnt be able to handle it and that is not a good invionment to be raising children. I left my ex husband because we faught all the time and it wasn't something i wanted my daughter to think was "normal". I don't want her to think divorce is a good thing but to understand when to leave and why its okay to leave.

    Answer by ihavetwo2 at 10:41 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Its scarey knowing you need to leave and start again. Well your being treated like a child...if you had a daughter and she was being treated this way what would you want for her...

    Answer by terep001 at 1:27 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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