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2 Bumps

Dd has no friends at school

my 11 y/o said that she is "lonely" at school because all of her friends moved away and she has no one to play with a recess. She said there are 2 main groups; the popular kids and the nerds and that she doesn't fit in to either group but she isn't made fun of or bullied at all. Her best friend is in the grade below her so they don't see each other during school. I know this is something she needs to work out on her own but I don't know what advice to give her.


Asked by Mel_in_PHX at 10:56 AM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 19 (6,704 Credits)
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Answers (3)
  • My DD never really had any friends until middle school at which point she finally made some. I talked to her about this recently (she is now 18) and she said that she was really mad at us at the time (elementary school) because we weren't doing anything and she thought we didn't notice. Truthfully, we made lots of attempts to get her to be proactive, invite people over, etc and she just wouldn't do any of it. In middle school my daughter finally started seeking out others who were also sitting by themselves which finally turned into a group. She also got adopted by another group.

    To me the key question is: What is standing in her way? Maybe there is something she feels very self-concious about like clothing that you can help her fix.

    Answer by DrRama at 11:18 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Tell her to just be herself and be friendly. Tell her not to to things on her own. Try to eat lunch with people and have recess or whatever with people. Trust me eventually she will have plenty of friends.

    Answer by dpriser at 11:08 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • they have to wear uniforms so clothing definately isn't it. i hate to bring up race but it is a very diverse school and i think kids stick with their own race a lot.

    Comment by Mel_in_PHX (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Mar. 25, 2011