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2 Bumps

My husband hardly touches me :(

I don't know what to do..been married 2 1/2 years..and he's always to busy, to tired ect ect..i just really don't know what to do anymore..when we do talk we argue or he's talking about what's going on in his life..which is great, but what about mine or our sons.. If you were in a marriage and were unhappy and your husband knew, and did nothing to help change anything what would you do?? Stay or go?? He refuses counseling by the way. I just feel depressed and that I'm not good enough, and I have told him that and nothing changes...i don't know what to do anymore..sometimes I think I would be happier alone.

 
Ambie0526

Asked by Ambie0526 at 11:54 AM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,562 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • First I would and did build my own self esteem second I would and did go to counseling by myself and worked on taking some suggestions and when it did not work I reached the point where I have left. This is the time for you to decide if this relationship is worth saving and if you can do it while maintaining some kind of sanity.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:00 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Hugs. I have found that I can't change others but I can change myself. If I were you I would put the relationship on the back burner (for now) and work on getting myself back on track- build up the self-esteem, feel better and be in a happier place. Finding a good therapist will help give you the tools to do this. Then once I was where I wanted to be emotionally I would then re-evaluate the marriage and I would tell the husband that if he wants to stay married things will have to change. I would remind him marriage is a 50/50 give and take and BOTH have to work at it to keep it going. If he won't do his part then it is time to pack up and leave. I hope everything works out!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:05 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Well unfortunately it sounds like time to get out. Basically, your not happy with him and he is just making you feel terrible. I know that sounds scarey but once you get out you'll start feeling a lot better.
    terep001

    Answer by terep001 at 11:59 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • hugsi would try everything in my power to make i t work maybe counciling dont get depressed over him he needs to help you make it work and it doesnt sound like he is. if youve tried everything and its not working theres no point in being in the relationship any more just my opinion

    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 11:59 AM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • One is save money and make sure you have an education or job before you were to leave.
    Betutah

    Answer by Betutah at 12:05 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It depends on how you're talking to him. Are you telling him your feelings in the heat of the moment or are the two of you communicating where he's really understanding and taking everything in? How was the communication in the beginning? Alot of factors come into play and NO ONE can give you the right advice because there's pieces to the puzzle that's missing...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:54 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I suffer this as well and have put up wth it for going on11 years total, I know it REALLY makes you feel not desirable, or it is you.. Trust me it is not you...he is the issue, otherwise he would be the one concerned.

    I am not going to tell you what I have resorted to just to reassure myself, it is not me....but may Isuggest a book.

    Living with the passive aggressive male....just look into it, I know it explained a lot to me.
    ahutt1976

    Answer by ahutt1976 at 12:09 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Do you do things to try and spice up your life with hubby??? Dont let it ALL up to him.
    But you've only been married 2 1/2 years, dont give up just yet.

    Here's another suggestion:
    Buy the game "A Loving Game"
    Have Grandparents watch your boys
    Have a "Date Night" right at home, pour some wine and play the game. It will not only get you talking, but add some spice along the way.
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 12:13 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • If he isn't a partner to you in every way I personally would leave. I was lonely in my 2nd marriage and I decided I would rather be lonely ALONE than with that idiot - he did everything to try to kill my spirit - all kinds of messed up stuff, he had sexual issues he tried to make me believe were me (they weren't), he criticized everything I did, said, wore. I gained 20 lbs started having migraines because I was internalizing all that crap and I got sick. I kicked him to the curb finally, took some years for myself and met the most wonderful man in the world for me - he loves me, accepts me and everything about me - he thinks it's cute when I burp or fart (before I was a burly bitch) and I'm so happy. If he can't appreciate you and WON'T get counseling or even try - then I say move it on out mama!
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 12:15 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It sounds like you know what you should do. I'd start making plans to leave, the relationship sounds dead.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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