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2 Bumps

My daughter is miscarrying and nothing I can do...

Apparently, my 22 year old daughter is pregnant. Well there is no heartbeat and she is in the middle of a miscarriage. Did she tell me this? NO. She was saying how her heart has been broken into a million pieces on FB and she finally talked to a dear friend of mine and this is how I found out.

I came home Tuesday and heard a message from the doctor's office, confirming her appointment.I went and asked her about it and she said she was going for a physical. I looked at her and said are you pregnant. She told me it was none of my business and she didn't have to tell me anything.

Well that didn't go over well with me. I told her if you are pregnant, you better call the father and tell him you need somewhere to live, since it is none of my business. She has no job, barely goes to school and you have the nerve to get pregnant. She is fully insured and there is no reason to not be protected.

I hate to see her going through this, but if she doesn't want my help, isn't much I can do. Of course, once the father found out she was pregnant, he bailed. Not looking for answers, just want to vent I guess ):

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I am so sorry that you and your daughter are going through this. I think the other posters are being too hard on you . . . . sorry guys. It is REALLY hard when you have an adult child in the house, who you financially support, in hopes that they will someday be able to walk on their own two feet. They show no initiative . . . and then get themsleves into binds . . . telling you it is none of your business . . . what are you supposed to do? Keep on throwing money her way and watch her continue to implode? I realize that this is a sensitive situation, but, other posters, please try to realize that this situation probably comes with a lot of history.
    I would go to her and support her through this, but when everything is over with, she and you should have a very calm and long talk about what is happening in her life, and what is expected of her, as an adult, if she is living with, and being supported by, you.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:50 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Well... don't take this the wrong way, but I can kind of see why she didn't tell you. I mean, your first reaction was to tell her to get out of the house? You do sound a little judgemental, and not very supportive....
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 12:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • No offense, but the statement about kicking her out. This is why she's not telling you anything. You're her mother...her rock...grow up and show some damn support woman.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 12:32 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I'm sorry but if it were my daughter, I would help her through this and not kick her out of my house. We all make mistakes.
    proudmom2510

    Answer by proudmom2510 at 12:33 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Oh, your poor daughter. She must be heartsick.
    And you know in your heart that she didn't tell you because she knew what your reaction would be. AND honestly, even if she is living with you, you allow her as an adult to live with you, she doesn't have to tell you anything.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:33 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I am sorry to hear your daughter is going through this. U need to be with her. Stop the fighting! She needs to know that u r there for her! Y did u go anon? U need to build a better relationship with your daughter.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 12:33 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I understand you being upset but as someone who went through a MC a couple of months ago. If you were my mother I probably wouldn't want to tell you I was pregnant or going through a mc either. You don't sound like the kind of person who be considered understanding and supportive.
    Liamsmom09

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 12:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • When I was a teenager I got pregnant and did everything I could to hide it from my parents. I went nine months with handling my pregnancy alone. I had severe panic attacks and nervous break downs. I hid it because of how strict my parents were and my mom was never an easy individual to speak to about situations such as this. I was scared. Reacting the way you did just validates your daughters fear of not telling you. I have to say though that she didn't react well either but I'm sure the tone you had and your body language didn't help the situation. You need to let her know you are there for her, if you don't you will lose her. Her attitude and actions may hurt but wouldn't it hurt more to not know her or your future grandchildren over something that could have been prevented.
    iluvmm09

    Answer by iluvmm09 at 12:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • If my mom or parents acted the way you do or vbruno does I sure as hell wouldn't tell them anything either! I would have been out of there the second I could! My parents raised me to confide in them- that they were accepting of us no matter what mistakes we made or how badly we messed up. Now I am a hard working, determined, motivated and loved mother to be.

    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Im sorry your DD is acting this way with you. After all parents go through t o raise our kids, all the hurt they cause us, sometimes it's only more hurt they dump on you after they are of age. Someday she will come around and know what she put you through. I hope she apologizes when she realizes what she's doing and how much hurt it caused you.

    You make it sound as if she is misbehaving and disobeying. I'm sorry but if you had a heart, you would help your daughter through this wouldn't you? I don't see how ANY mother could even think this way. No matter what happens to my daughter, I will always be there for her even if I don't always agree with her decisions. She needs her mother right now more than anything in the world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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