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5 Bumps

She drives me crazy!!!!! VENT Am I wrong for being upset about all of this???

My ex who I have 3 children with just got married 6 months ago. This woman is crazy, she wants to play mommy with my children (ages 8,11, and 13) but she never wants to do anything for them and they also only have them one weekend a month. Like my dd is about to graduate from elementary school. They are going to let each child give their mother's a rose each and they sent home a form asking what color they want and asking for a $3 donation for each parent. She found out and felt that she should get a rose as well!!!!! I told her it's just for MOMS. She refuses to let my kids come over on the ONE weekend they have with their dad if they are even a little bit sick saying she doesn't want to get sick (sorry I don't either and if it is dad's time, they need to be with dad). She complains to my children about how much child support their dad pays ($1050 a month for 3 children) and she talked my ex out of doing the normal vacation he has with the kids (and her this year) so that the 2 of them can go on a vacation just the two of them. He hates when my ex spends any money on the children so they sit at his house all weekend, they used to go to the movies, zoo, water parks etc but now my kids say she throws fits when he orders them pizza. My ex has a 5 bedroom home (my 2 girls shared a room and my son had is own) and when she moved in, her 3 kids each got their own room and my kids all got put in the same room (she only has her kids every other weekend). Meanwhile she tells my kids that they HAVE to call her mom (they refuse) and she changed all the house rules to what her's where (that are completely different from what they were before)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • I am a step mom, So with that said. The thing with the roses, that is all for you, you are their mom. i have never and will never do that with my skids. Now We do have rules in this house, they are not the same as their rules with their bio mom, but the rules have always been the same and they go for everyone. We don't pick and choose. The thing with the bedrooms, I don't think there should be chosen rooms. The kids ( both yours and hers ) aren't there for a long length of time. Let the kids sleep where they want to. She doesn't need to be changing everything. Your ex needs to be putting his kids first, no her or hers. i told my DH that my son comes first for me and his kids come first for him.
    Angela_1974

    Answer by Angela_1974 at 9:58 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like dad needs to step up to the plate and put a stop to this. It goes on because he allows it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • You're not wrong for being upset about this at all, but if I were you, I'd have a talk with my ex ASAP. Why on earth isn't he getting involved? What kind of spineless jellyfish is he?
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 1:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • If you think she is being unreasonable about the house rules or the bedroom arrangements ( i agree that she is) then you need to talk to your ex because he's the only one with the power to change anything. I can see how you'd be miffed about your kids being stuck in one room and her children each getting their own but the reality is HE let it happen. It's only one weekend a month. I wouldn't let it get you so stressed out.

    The rose thing imo is a little petty and not worth being pissed about. I agree that it doesn't sound like she deserves it but if he wants to pay $3 to make her feel like she's a mom (technically she is i mean she is the stepmom even if she's a wicked one) and it gets her to quit bitching who cares. You know your their MOM and the only one they want to call mom. she's a pretender and everyone knows it regardless of her actions or her getting a rose.
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 1:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I would be pissed but not at her, but at the ex. He is the one who is ultimately responsible for what goes on with his children and his home.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 2:06 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • no I would be totally pissed. I think you and your ex need to talk about all of this. its ridiculous that she would talk him out of the normal things he usually does with his kids. she shouldn't make him choose between her and his kids. i agree with anouck, why doesn't he stand up against her for his kids!?
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 1:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • sounds like she is trying to take over as mom and is angry with him for having other children that she cant control
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I would talk with your ex calmly and tell him how you feel about this and ask for what you want changed. Good luck. Maybe she is just trying to do a good job when they are there. The bedroom thing..well if they are only there 1 time a month well then why can they not share a room? Let him start his life over. Teach your kids to appreciate what they do have and not complain. Sounds like he and she have lots of things going on in their life. Just check in and make sure everything is still safe when they go. Blended families are tough.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Yes you should be angry. Ask your ex why he's letting her kids have more privledges than his own
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 1:24 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Sound like she resents them. If he told her to respect his relationship with his children and put a stop to her craziness she would have to listen. If he has to choose he should choose them. Everyone that says you should be more pissed at him is right.
    alemlovo

    Answer by alemlovo at 3:04 PM on Mar. 25, 2011