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My fiance's daughter plays the sneaky role with me and is nice to my face but I'm always hearing how she talks bad about me to other people when I'm constantly helping her with everything and buying her what she needs. What to do now?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Talk to her about it. If she's talking bad about you, stop helping her. Maybe she'll get the message.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Stop helping her at all! When she asks you why you no longer help tell her EXACTLY why you wont. That you dont like what she's saying about you to other people when it's not true and that the people she tells lies to about you tell YOU what she said.

    Answer by vbruno at 1:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Well, she's a teenager, so she's a little angsty. She's probably thinking that you're trying to replace her mom. Try to sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you are in NO way trying to replace her, but you just want to be her friend. Tell her that you really love her father and want you guys to be a family. Maybe that'll help...Good luck!

    Answer by GothicChk52 at 1:22 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I think I'd continue trying. This is a hard age to have her Dad remarry, and she may feel some guilt about liking you if she's close to her mom. Also, if you have kids as well, there may be some jealousy. Just be the best "step" mom (I hate the term step) to her that you can be, try to be equal with all kids and if you can try to talk to her about it, but keep trying. Eventually she'll appreciate you. If possible I think family counseling before the wedding would be great.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:23 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Stop buying her things. Make her father do it. Stop helping her. Make her father do it.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Take her out to lunch, have some girl time with her and tell her what you heard. Tell her how it makes you feel and see what she has to say. I get along great with all 4 of my girls but I'm quite sure that they've all complained about me before (as I have complained about them.). I'd just talk to her before I did anything. Good luck!!

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 1:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Be kind to her no matter what. Remember, you chose to get involved with a man who had a child, she didn't choose for her parents not to stay together and date other people. You don't have to do every little thing for her but you should always be kind to her. besides, she is a teen, she prob talks bad about EVERYBODY

    Answer by JLS2388 at 2:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Talk with her and let her know that you know that she's been talking behind your back. There's nothing wrong in confronting her and asking her why she's saying things about you...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • So what if she talks about you behind your back. She's a teen. You're an adult. If she's nice to your face then be grateful for that.

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:45 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Stop doing anything. Ungratefullness is ugly. Why do you have to take it?

    Answer by hotchocolatema1 at 11:03 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

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