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Sorry this is a question and a vent at the same time

we've been together for 11 years and have three kids. legally we're not married. he asked me we've even set the date. we've got everything planned except the year. the problem is problems keep popping up. now we moved closer to family and they want to help pay for the wedding. the problem: they want to tell us who is going to marry us, to invite and who does the cooking. if we don't agree they won't help. well that was two years ago and were still not married. he said they are making him feel like this is a shotgun wedding which i hate the way they make him feel.
heres the question: do i tell the family (again) that we will handle our own wedding or let them have their way?

 
noel1978

Asked by noel1978 at 1:30 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (20,417 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I love the "shotgun wedding" comments. LOL! We have been together 13 years and are expecting our third child and aren't married...um...I would think that the "shotgun" part would have come LONG before now.

    It is not as if anything in your relationship is going to change. If you're going to have a wedding, it should be what YOU want, and if it means going another couple years and saving so you can do it yourself...do it the way YOU want.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:52 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Just go to the courthouse and get married. Piss on their control issues.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:32 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Your SO doesn't want a shotgun wedding, so why not plan a trip and get married somewhere, just the 2 of you? Like Hawaii, or even Vegas? I think after being together for so long that the formality of it isn't really all that important, it's the 2 of you that matter. Just a thought. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Just elope. The problem with letting people help pay is that they do have the right to say what goes on and what doesn't.

    You can invite a small group to the courthouse if you want family there.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Handle your own wedding!
    After all it is YOUR wedding, NOT theirs!

    Just say you appreciate the help, but you and fiance would like things done how you want
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 1:36 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • do your own wedding!! its your love! its your wedding, who cares if they offered to pay for it, it was just a offer and you can decline gently by saying "we have everything in order, we would like to do it ourselves, when we are ready. thank you for the offer to help us, we dont see it necessary though" and smile, and walk away. GL
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 1:43 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • When planning a wedding, its all about the bride and groom. The wedding is memories that you will have imbedded in your head forever. Therefore, have the wedding that you desire and forget about what everyone else says. You deserve to look back on your wedding with memories and laughter and not wishing you would've done it this way or that way but your way! G/L
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Go to the courthouse. You can get married for less than $100 there.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:28 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Why don't you just go down to the justice of the peace. For bob's sake, it has been 11 years and you share three children. Why not make it legal? I just don't get you letting something like this keep you from marrying him.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 5:39 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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