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What should I expect?

I have court mediation for custody of my three year old on Monday morning. has anyone went through this and if so, what should I expect at this meeting?

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Asked by AshleyManjares at 1:42 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • They will look at you and the father's ability to get along to make decisions for the child. If they feel that you cannot agree on anything, they will grant full custody to one of you. joint custody is where 2 people can agree on medical decisions, how the child is raised, where they go to school, activities they are involved in.

    Custody has NOTHING to do with visitation. In most states, visitation is a seperate order.

    I have full custody of DD (3) and we have joint visitation. He gets her 3 consecutive days each week and 2 weeks in the summer non consecutive. I do not have to ask him anything about medical, schooling or other...but I do occasionally ask his input. He is a good dad and I want to keep him active in her life.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:52 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • My ex made sure everything was in the agreement and he gave me full custody of our daughter. The judge will just make sure that this is what you want and understand everything.

    Answer by terep001 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Oh ok. Does the father and I have to be in the same room at this meeting? Because we DO NOT get along at all. Our relationship ended very badly. He has a record for domestic violence, doesnt work, never provides her with anything she needs, lives with his new gf, her 2 kids, and her parents in a trailer... And we had a written agreement but whenever he was supposed to have her, he would leave her with his mom, grandma, sister, or aunt. My DD slept in a diff house every night and I feel its made her very insecure. I have my own place, and she has her own room. And I have been the only one who has ever bought her all the things she needs. I am worried and stressed about this meeting and I do not wanna be in the same room with him. The sight of him disgusts me. :(

    Comment by AshleyManjares (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Well I want full custody and he wants joint. But I feel he is totally unfit for her. He wont even take her to the dr when she is really sick. He always calls me to take her. I always worry about her when she was supposed to be with him because i never knew where she was and if she was ven being taken care of. At least when I have her, he knows shes safe at home with me. not bouncing from house to house...

    Comment by AshleyManjares (original poster) at 2:10 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • More than likely, the two of you will be in the room together. Google custody agreements for your state and see what the guidelines are for your state so you can be prepared. If you have documentation on him being unfit and not having a place to stay, bring in proof. Documentation of his time spent with her will work too...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:57 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • You can definitely request separate rooms. There is no reason to be in the same room. You don't have to agree to everything in mediation. In fact, you don't have to agree to anything at all. The mediator will go back and forth between the rooms and try to find areas where you both can compromise. But unless you have lots of proof that he is actually abusive to the child, is extremely neglectful of the child, it is doubtful that he will be cut out of her life.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 5:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • he wasnt abusive to her but to me during our marriage. hes been to jail for beating me and the have pics of me with black eyes and bruises on file. he even came into my mothers (where i moved after i left him) with a huge knife and they have that on file too....

    Comment by AshleyManjares (original poster) at 12:23 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

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