Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How in the world do you deal with the 'other woman'?

I am currently in the middle of a divorce & my soon to be ex is already living with another woman! Its making with whole process even harder and makes me have feelings for him again. BUT my children like her,,,,, how do I get passed this.

Answer Question

Asked by 1honeymama at 1:57 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • if you kids like her i would be grateful.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:58 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • At least the kids get along with her. I dont talk to my exs wife at all.. my daughter deals with her the best she can.

    Answer by terep001 at 2:01 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I think it is natural to feel like you want him back now that he is with someone else. But you have to remember why you are getting divorced and try not to focus on the fact that he is with someone now and to move forward with you life. And most importantly, if your children like her try to be happy for them and not let your feelings about the situation get in the way. Also focus on moving forward with your life. Now that you are seperated you will have time alone when your children are with him, use that time to do things for yourself. Get involved in something, take a class or take up a hobby or volunteer some where. Good luck!

    Answer by sue118 at 2:03 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Did you leave him for a reason or did he leave you? If he left you for a reason like her then let him go, she can have him and his dirty laundry to and be grateful the kids like her you don't have to worry about that. Now if you left him for something then remember what it was you left him for and she has to live with it now...........Get together with some friends and go do something for yourself take your mind off whats happening over at ex house you deserve it

    Answer by buttonlts at 2:04 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • So did you want tne divorce or did he?

    Answer by louise2 at 2:04 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Might sound mean.... but I actually made a copy of the front page of our Final Decree, rolled it up like a scroll, put a ribbon around it and sent it to her in a live plant.... Attached was a note congratulating her along with a disclaimer that I would not honor any warranties and there was no return policy.

    He was PISSED..... she apparently thought it was funny and ended up calling me after they broke up and apologized for "her part" in my divorce. It was the BEST justice and ice breaker ever.
    Not telling you to do that - it's just how *I* dealt with my other woman situation.

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 2:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Until you are divorced, she shouldn't be spending the night at his house while your children are there. Make sure you bring that up in court, because in most states, they will hold that against him. I am sorry for what you are going through, it must be tough but just focus on all the crap you had to put up with, and remember, now SHE has to put up with it :)

    Answer by JLS2388 at 2:23 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • If she is nice to your kids, that should be a relief to you. You're their mother and you'll never be replaced so no worries there. As for getting feelings for your ex because of her, that's just because you can't have him, now you want him. Its understandable but should not be mistaken for the real thing. I'm gathering you had good reasons for the break up, so just remind yourself what they are.

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 2:47 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • U have to learn to deal with it.

    Answer by dancer at 2:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • As hard as it is, if there's no chance of the two of you reconciling, then you have to deal with the fact that he has moved on with his life. I know it hurts and no matter what advice is given, you're the one that has to face this on a daily basis, until you let it go...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
What should I expect?

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
How come....