• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Controlling Hubby

I am in a marriage to a controlling hubby..My question..Is it wrong for me to want and to go out with single friends for a night out on the town?? He says that when you get married, You have to change the things you did as a single person? Is that a bullshit excuse for control or what?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • here's a helpful website
    http://www.homestudycredit.com/courses/contentCR/secCR16.html
    workenmom

    Answer by workenmom at 2:00 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Yes! There is nothing wrong with going out with friends once in awhile. As long as it's not every night I don't see a problem. Maybe he is just jealous? Encourage him to go and hang with his friends the same night as you go out with yours. Every couple needs some time apart here and there.
    WishyClarkson

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 2:01 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I think it's fine to go out with your friends once in a while but I think it's normal for him to not like it too. I just think he should trust you when you do go out. I know I kinda hate it when DH goes out with his friends, but I know he's a good man and won't do anything stupid. Doesn't make me like it any more. If he gets mad every time then you need to sit down and talk about how your relationship is going to be and get on the same page about it.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:06 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • you probably should have had that discussion before you got married... everyone has different expectations. overall, no he shouldn't forbid you anything - you're his wife, not his prisoner - you have free will and you are to be trusted. hubby and i both stopped the nights out with single friends because we knew they were not conducive to a healthy relationship and also were no longer interested... all of our single friends often are focused on hooking up with someone in some capacity anyway, so it wasn't really a good fit. and now we need to rely on each other's consistency... if all of a sudden he wanted to go out with the guys all the time after all this time of not, I'd be bothered.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:07 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • But every now and then he goes out alone and so do I, but it's rare. We prefer to have our friends over, and he would never keep me from going somewhere. Now is the time to have the talk you should have had and come to some agreements with each other. Neither of you is wrong... just have different expectations.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:07 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • You absolutley should be able to go out once in a while with just the girls. Does he go out with the guys?
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 2:20 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • It's hard to answer that with just this amount of knowledge. If you want to go out very occasionally, I don't think it should be a big deal. Check out www.joelandkathy.com to see if he is truly controlling. They have a free download.
    PamJM

    Answer by PamJM at 2:26 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • man that is the stupidest excuse ever. he sure is a smart one. if that was the case my hubby would never go out which i would not love. sometimes i rather he wasn't home. i need a break from him and i need one to. you can't help it if your friends are not married but you don't stop being friends cause of that. so tell your hubby that. you have to be yourself and be a partner but not change who you are. or your friends just cause you are married. it's totally unhealthy.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:30 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • u both should be able to go out without each other every once in a while. i have a friend who has a VERY controlling husband and the advice i give her is that he can controll her because SHE allows it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • It all depends on what you and the girls are doing??? If it's going to a chick-flick, he shouldn't object. If it's going out drinking and clubbing, I'd say he has a reason to be uncomfortable. Lots of things beyond your control could happen...it doesn't have to mean he doesn't trust you.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:03 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.