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my boyfriend

My boyfriends wife made my daughter a Halloween bag. I called and thanked her and she was really nice. She now wants to take my daughter to a movie with her daughter. Isn't it unusual for the ex wife to be so nice, since i am the woman he left her for. He told me things weren't good with them for years?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Look at it this way. She could be a total beotch and constantly be talking crap about you. I'd be counting my blessings if I were you. I have to deal with my hubby's ex, and let me tell you it's no fun when they are NOT nice in the least.

    Answer by feesharose at 2:17 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • maybe she is just trying to be magnanimous. No it's not normal, but you're lucky!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • It almost sounds too good to be and her are going to be in contact for years to come (assuming you and bf get married, then you will be the Step Mom to her kids, and your children will be step sisters) and it sounds like she is trying to make the best of it right from the start. If their marriage was bad and she knew it, then him leaving probably wasn't a surprise, and she probably knows that it really had nothing to do with you. Regardless you will be seeing eachother pretty frequently, and she may just be trying to play nice.

    I would let your daughter go. She is going to be seeing your boyfriends daughter on a pretty regular basis, right? There's no reason to keep her from making friends.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:19 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • i was the ex wife and all i wanted to do was get to know better the woman that would be hanging around my children. she was never keen on the idea and would never meet me. i didn't have any hard feelings for the ex and didn't care he was with anybody new. so maybe this lady feels the same. although he didn't leave me for someone new but maybe this lady just wants to get along with you for the sake of all kids involved. which is very healthy for couples to do. my ex hangs with my new hubby on our daughters birthday. our families think it's weird but i wanted leia to see that we could all get along and helps her to build confidence with both of her fathers.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:26 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • It's unusual in the sense that most of the time the new woman in his life and the old woman in his life don't get along. But, I'd take it at face value, that she's trying to be nice and form a decent relationship with the people that will potentially be a part of her daughter's life for many years to come. If she turns out to be a liar, or whatever, then you can get suspicious, but for now, I'd be nice back and let your daughter go. Try to keep the relationship good, for the sake of everyone involved.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:33 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • You should be very glad she is nice. Most EXs are hateful,mean and made.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:37 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Sounds like she knows the relationship was over - his fault, not yours - not taking it out on you. I'm confused about the relationship with your daughter, but I have known people who were like that. My ex-boyfriend got married in the military and his wife cheated on him and left him and had a baby with the guy. The guy was a piece of crap, and my ex and his ex remained very good friends, and he always tried to help her with her child. I met her and became friends with her too, even though at first I didn't like her. The first time I met her was at her birthday party we went to. I actually liked knowing that some people could rise above the BS and just be good people.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:40 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • sorry for some reason i had a brain fart about her taking your daughter to the movies with their daughter... totally makes sense. awesome that she is a grownup!

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:41 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I'm jealous of you. I have to deal with my husband's ex and they were divorced long before I came along. They had been divorced 4 years when I met him, but every chance she gets she talks noise about me, when the most I've ever said to her is hi.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

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