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First love.

When I was 15 I started going out with a boy, he was bad news from the very start, drugs & violence etc, but I loved him all the same. When I was 17 he passed away due to overdose. I've never been able to talk to hubby about it because it upsets him if I talk about past relationships, not properly but it's uncomfortable. The thing is today is the anniversary of his death and I'm feeling guilty to be upset about it because it's been 5 years now and I do love my husband. And now hubby keeps wanting to know what's up, what should I say, anyone reckon I should tell him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • You should always be able to talk to your hubby about things that trouble you. Be tactful and sensitive to hubby when you do talk about it but you should still talk about it.

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:32 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Sometimes if I feel a need to share something without wanting to make it about a past relationship - I have suffered through listening to stories about exes... I'd rather not, but I won't refuse when he needs to talk - I just say "my friend." It's not a lie... there's no need to dredge up feelings that will make him unsympathetic to your grief if you need sympathy. If he would know who you were talking about, you could preface the conversation with, I really don't understand why it bothers me but... or it makes me sad to think that X years ago when I was an emotionally vulnerable teenager this happened... something that helps him understand it's not just you longing for this guy.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:37 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I have a similar situation, my first husband, whom I married at 17, died from an overdose. Dec. 4, 1983...many years ago. I still feel strange on that day and it's coming up. I can't talk to my dh about it, he knows the whole story, but he wouldn't understand me being upset. I keep it to myself! Of course it would be better to be able to talk to your dh/so about this, but most men wouldn't understand and would be upset thinking you still had feelings for this guy. Maybe write a journal post about it, or talk to a girlfriend about it.

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:43 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

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