I went through PPD myself after my son, and never called anyone to help me get through the day. I had my husband to lean on and my baby to take care of. We live 40 miles away from our entire family and rarely get to see them. She lives with her mother, husband, 2 kids, and has six best friends on the same block as her. All of her family lives within a ten mile radius of her. I live over an hour away.
A little background info, we used to work together and I was sort of her boss (I had a lot of seniority but no actual title) and she was pretty much the bottom of the totem pole. I helped her get jobs that she enjoyed and could prove herself by doing, and she has always appreciated it.
Fast forward to last year, and my husband and I moved out of state for his new job. It has been over a year since I saw her, but she still calls me regularly with gossip about our old job, people we worked with and so on. EVERY single time she has called me she talks non-stop and I pretty much say "Yea" "Uh-huh" "Um" "Well.." until she is done, then she hangs up. It is kind of a joke between my husband and me that "we" never talk, she does all the talking. It has gone so far that she doesn't even know that I am pregnant (and I am five months along) because my husband suggested, as a joke, that I not tell her until she says "So whats up with you?" or something to that effect. She NEVER has, but the joke was over long ago. I don't know how to tell her now!
So now she has called me again. I wasn't able to answer the phone, because I was actually getting my first ultrasound at the time, so she left a message. The message was that she wanted to be able to call me whenever (including the middle of the night) to talk because she was having a really hard time. I am sorry for her, I've been there myself. But she has her husband, mom and everybody close to her to talk to. I have a very uncomfortable pregnancy to deal with ( I know she doesn't know, but that doesn't change it. She wouldn't care if she did) I have been sick every day since I was two weeks pregnant, I have heartburn and insomnia every night that keep me awake and uncomfortable, and my ten month old son is teething and grouchy as a bear every day from it. My husband is having problems at his job, my Dad is sick, my sister is homeless, and I have MORE than enough on my own plate! I haven't called her back and I don't know if I should...... My husband has wanted me to dump her for the longest time because of issues like this, but for some reason I just can't. It's like she's the only connection to the life I had before pregnancy and motherhood.
Please, does this make me a bad person? I feel so guilty about NOT calling her, but I REALLY don't want to get into it.....Please help.....Thanks :)
Asked by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:10 PM on Mar. 25, 2011
I don't mean to sound rude, but if you feel this way, then you aren't actually her friend, the most you could say you are is an acquaintance. If you are actually a person's true friend then you would want to help her no matter whether or not you thought she had plenty of support already. Just think about it.
Answer by Kelly502 at 3:46 PM on Mar. 25, 2011
Answer by mslksdh at 3:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2011
Answer by ria7 at 3:45 PM on Mar. 25, 2011
Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2011
Answer by ria7 at 4:21 PM on Mar. 25, 2011
Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2011