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I can't afford a pair of snow boots.... bull shi*!

My step son's mother is a real piece of work. She works full time and so does her new hubby. She NEVER buys her single child any new clothes and she knows that if she sends him to us in small clothes or weather inappropriate clothing that I will send him home in clothes that will work.

We just purchased a new winter coat, hat, mittens, and snow pants for him as well as a new winter wardrobe for the fast growing boy. We always make sure to purchase basic extras to send home to his mommy.

We just had our first snow and she asked us if we could buy him a pair of snow boots too because she cannot afford them . They are $12 at Walmart!!!!!

Of course we will buy them because we won't make the little man suffer. How can we get her to stop this little game of hers????

Answer Question
 
girlneffy

Asked by girlneffy at 2:43 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • FLIP THE SCRIP ON HER ON TELL THE BOY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY
    OR TO JUST TELL HER ABOUT HERSELF
    MS.AVON1

    Answer by MS.AVON1 at 2:46 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • no this is what you do let him wear his clothes that fit and you bought for him while he is at your house and send him home in the clothes she sent him in
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • well, first of all why do you purchase basic extras to send home. If you purchase them, keep them at home for you to use on his return trip. And if he comes in something you know is wrong, change him into something that you have at your home and send him back in what he was sent in. Thats what the child support she recieves is for.Keep up with everything tho, keep a record for yalls sake. She knows that you guys will send him home in something new, so she goes with the flow. You have to stop being nice for her to stop taking advantage.I've seen this so many times, its pathetic,
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 2:51 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Maybe they really dont have the money. Yes both of them are working, but do you know what bills they have. I do agree with what you purchase should stay at your house. I understand that you dont want your step son to suffer. Maybe just have a talk with her. Set her down and tell her how you feel.
    mommie020308

    Answer by mommie020308 at 3:06 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I def agree that you should keep what you buy at your house. End of story. We had to do something similar with a family member because she would take the new clothes to a resale shop and use the money for herself. Not saying that your situation is that bad but I wouldn't keep feeding her in that way.
    Artillwife01

    Answer by Artillwife01 at 3:16 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • tell her no, if she can afford (enter luxery item here) then she can afford a $12 pair of snow boots. if she smokes cigs tell her to skip out on a couple of pack and get them herself. if they go out to dinner once a week tell her to skip that week and use the money on the kid. geesh people can be REAL self centered huh?
    punkomama08

    Answer by punkomama08 at 3:29 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • AFTER the cold weather, send him back in the clothes she sends him in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Does you DH pay child support? If he does, tell her to use it on him. I understand that they both work and do have bills of their own, but she and your DH should be sharing the responsibilities of your ss. And I'm not saying that you should stop doing for him, but I would back off a little and make her do her part. It's not fair that your DH and you are being taken advantage of and it sounds like you are.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:34 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I hate the thought of playing games by putting a child in the middle. Just because she does that doesn't mean that it is right. In the end the child is the only one who is hurt. So my suggestion would be to just buy the basics. Jeans, shirts, shoes, ect.... Keep a reciets of items bought for him through out the year. This way his mother knows exactly how much his father's house hold has contributed to his child's necessities. That way if she ever takes your husband back to court for an increase in child support then you will have documents to prove that your family is providing for this child. Also, when she says that she doesn't have the money for basics...have your husband ask her if he needs to have his son come live with him - in a nice concerned way. Part of being a parent is being able to provide appropriate food, clothing, and shelter.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 4:38 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I know this makes you mad, and it should - my sister's ex used to pull the same crap with her and their boys. What you do - and this is going to be hard and require a LOT of tongue biting - is you suck it up and do it. If he needs it, and she won't get it, you get it. Let him use it, to a certain extent, at her house, too (don't deny him something you know he needs, even if it is at her house, just to spite her). Do all of this as cheerfully as you can - don't complain, because you don't want the child to feel bad or guilty because his mother is a piece of work.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:23 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

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