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Questions in: Relationships

How do I stop feeding into hubby's negativity?

Hubby has gotten on a kick where he is in complete control of the moeny. I hate it. He whines and complains constantly. I am at home right now as our youngest is inpreschool for 12 hours a week. If I did work it wouldgo to daycare and gas and I would pretty mcuh be the only one worrying about the kids. So I am just trying to lay low and ignore his attitude but it wears me down. He has it in his head that the measure of a man is the amount of money he has. Isn't that sad? I always wonder had his mother played a larger role in his life when he was a kid how different his attitude would be. ANd the thing is he wasn't always like this! I am just frustrated and at times feel like I am drowning. I look forward to working again next year and having access to money without his mouth to go with it.

Asked at 2:53 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 by: Mamaford2

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Answers (5)
Answered at 2:55 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 by: Anonymous

Tape him and show him how bad he sounds,people can't stand to hear others complain.
Answered at 3:08 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 by: Anonymous

Stop trying to rationalize his behavior and psychoanalyze him and sit down and have a conversation and find out what's REALLY going on.
Answered at 3:16 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 by: Mamaford2

I have ried to have conversations with him and they either get tuned out or he gets mad. I am not psychoanalyzing when I say that he thinks money is what make shim a man. He has said those exact words!
Answered at 3:26 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 by: NannyB.

I am wondering if you make conscious efforts to show respect for his manliness in ways that have nothing to do with his money. If that is the only thing he has to hold on to, then I can somewhat understand his attitude. If he takes out the trash, thank him for doing it and tell him that it means a lot to you. I know it may sound and feel stupid to compliment a grown man like that, but if he had a messed up childhood, it very well could be the most meaningful thing you could say to him. There is a little child who lives inside all of us. At first you may have to really think in order to come up with positive statements, but if he is like most mean, he will respond postively to them, and then your work will be made easier.
Answered at 3:27 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 by: NannyB.

Sorry, didn't proof read soon enough. "Mean" should read "men."