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4 Bumps

Didn't know my daugther harbors so much guilt. How can I help her? I didn't even know she had said those words to him. This is a long story. Sorry for any typos crying as I type. Hurt she feels so much guilt, don't know what to do or say to help.

My daughter had to write a reflective piece from her life and what she learned from it well this is what she wrote:
And I still wonder, Who you'd be today.
Why do things happen the way they do? No one will ever know. The phrase "you don't kno what you've got till it's gone" replays itself in my head on a daily bases.
On July 12, 2003, my world got shook up and twisted around. I was a 10 yr. old girl playing around at my grandparents house when I heard a ear shattering scream. What happened next in my grandparents driveway will forever haunt my memories.
My mom had gone to leave to go the pharmacy and we stayed at our gparents. My little sister was in the house with my aunt and I was outside playing my little brother was across the road with my uncle, in a blink of an eye my brother got loose from my uncles hand and ran to catch my mom. With him being so small (he was 20 mo.) she couldn't see him as she started backing out of the driveway.
The next thing I remember was the heart breaking screech of the ambulance siren blaring down the road. My little brother was laying on the ground bleeding. I tried to advert my eyes from the scene but it was so hard. My mother was so hysterical she couldn't hardly be consoled. I felt the sting of tears flooding my eyes and rolling down my cheeks I cried until my whole body was shaking.
I begged and pleaded with my parents for me to go in the ambulance with my brother. I wasn't sure how I could handly my emotions without them there to hug me and tell me everything would be alright. I would soon know that nothing would ever be right again.
Waiting at mamas house for a call to come I prayed to God to let my brother be ok but I guess God was busy that day. I cried on the couch until the phone rang my mama talked in a low voice mumbling until she lowered her head with a soft sniffle I could tell that the person on the other line didn't have good news. The drive to Cabell was slow. The ride was quiet and numb. I had a choice to see my brother or wait in the lobby with other family members. The lobby was depressing and cold. The next morning I went with my parents to his room. Seeing him hooked with alot of machines made me feels sick. I wanted to hug him and tell him things were going to be ok. alittle while after a lady in a uniform told us in a family room that he was still brain dead and that he wasn't breathing at all on his own. My mother was catastrophic the whole time and wasn't able to talk or give answers. My heart dropped like a ten lb. rock being slung off of a roof. My litle brother died July 14, 2003.
I went to dayton with my aunt and uncle to escape from everything. My aunt and uncle took me shopping for a dress for the viewing and funeral. I was surprisly able to have some fun and keep my mind off of issues back in Ky. For now my mind wasn't bogged up with haunting memeories.
At the viewing there were tons of people, I now regeret not staying here instead of going to dayton.
The funeral the next morning were packed the cars were backed up down the road. I sat there with my parents and sister in the front listening to the preacher. I kept my eyes in the casket.
My little bro. would have been 2 July 14, 2003. Never take antyhing esp. the ones you love for granted because today maybe the last time you ever get to see them. Choose your words carefully and NEVER forget to say "I love you". To this day I still remember what I said to him and it kills me that I can never take them back.
You see my last words wasn't I love you or let's go play. The last thing I said was "please go away and leave me alone your so annoying". I'll never ever forget what I said. I will Never ever forgive myself. Maybe if I had told him hey you wanna play maybe it wouldn't have happened.
The details of that horrible day along with the two days that followed still run through my mind often an I always think 'what if'.
Make everything in life count and take nothing for granted because you never know what you have till it's gone.

Answer Question
 
my4loves3

Asked by my4loves3 at 5:27 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (208 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • im sorry

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:32 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I am sorry for your loss (((HUGS)))
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:34 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Maybe talking with a counselor would help your daughter work through her grief. Good luck.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 5:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I am so sorry your family went through that. My heart breaks for your family :(
    As for your DD, she really needs to talk to a therapist about this. She needs to come to terms with what happened so long ago. Confront her guilt and emotions head on, and learn to live with it, and move on. Of course, it is not as simple as that, but she needs to begin this process in order to heal those deep wounds. Good luck to you..
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:03 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • So sorry for your loss. I also agree with others, she needs to talk to someone who knows how to help her. I will be praying for her and for you, that you DD can learn to move on. she will never forget her brother, but she needs to learn how to move on and forgive herself for what she said to him.
    mlanderson

    Answer by mlanderson at 9:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss and for your DD's. It sounds as though this peice may have brought up pain she may have kept hidden. Have you tried to ask her about it? I think that a 3rd party is good ONLY if she wants to talk about it. She may have been able to have gotten out what she needed to in the drafts that she wrote as well as that paper. Good luck and you both will be in my prayers.
    ky_phoenix

    Answer by ky_phoenix at 10:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I'm so sorry.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:27 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

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