Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Does anyone else get a little annoyed? (sorry kind of ranting) please dont bash.

I'm a SAHM and my dh and I have this system where 1 day a week I like to be able to get a little bit of peace and quiet every now and then. He's supposed to take the kids and watch them so if i needed some rest or something I can get it. Well I only ask this question because lately it seems like I can't catch a break. My dh acts dumb in a way with our kids. I have to always come take over. I was laying down today cause I had a bad headache and once again he came busting in the room cause there was something going on. It just gets old. I do everything with the kids. I teach them words and I'm potty training them. Does anyone else go through this? I wish he would get more involved and that I could get a break at least once in awhile. We don't have a car so I can't go have any alone time. :( sorry I'm just upset with my dh. He needs to do stuff on his own. I love my hubby don't get me wrong. Enough is enough though.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • No sorry I can't say I have had this situation exactly..... but I suggest you sit him down *calmly*
    as hard as that may be, and tell him
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 7:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • been there.... sorry ur having a tough time. It sounds like hubby is TRYING at least.... so u have it better than some other Mommas.

    No car = slightly extra sucky. What is walking distance? Bike/stroller/wagon? Library, playground, etc?
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I had to have the "talk" with my DH. Men have to have it spelled out for them. Also try making a list of stuff like you would a babysitter. So it is all at hands reach an you can get some much needed me time.... it's sad but we do have to dumb it down for the DH's sometimes.
    Likka

    Answer by Likka at 7:45 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I think my husband finally got the clue at around kid #3 that Momma desperately needed some ALONE TIME away from them all! Of course, Momma also has her own vehicle, so that does help :/ I'll still get random calls about this or that, but he's finally figured things out. Plus with them all potty trained, it helps him out even greater, LOL.

    Only other thing I could say is just tell him to figure it out himself. He's their father, act like it!
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 7:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Likka is right men have to have it spelled out for them sometimes. But sometimes men act stupid so we will ge frustrated and take over. One time my ex was "accidentally breaking dishes seemed like every time i would ask him to wash them,or leaving them really dirt. So I would get mad and just take over...I finally heard him telling one of our friends who was getting married to do the same thing that it would get him out of doing the dishes really quickly, because I never asked him anymore to do them. (needless to say he ws do nothing but dishes foe a while..lol)
    ky_phoenix

    Answer by ky_phoenix at 7:54 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I so understand that. I very rarely get a break. Umm...almost never...lol. I also am a SAHM and while I wouldn't change it for the world, it would be nice to have some time to myself every now and then. Especially since he makes sure he gets his time to do his hobbies and hang out with friends. It's not even negotiable, he just assumes I've got the kids and he does his thing. It's not fair, but I've just resigned myself to "life isn't fair". I think that guys just don't get it sometimes...
    goldenfox

    Answer by goldenfox at 8:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I love my dh its just a pain at times. We live somewhat in the country so we really don't have somewhere to take the kids. Its hard enough to get my dh to do house hold chores let alone take the kids outside. Lol.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • This behavior is called "learned helplessness" and it can be fixed pretty easily. Sit down with your husband and discuss your expectations regarding your "me time" and the tasks associated with the child and home care that he will be responsible for. Make sure the two of you come to agreements on everything. Then, you stick to your guns and LET HIM DO THINGS, even if they're not done the way you'd like them done. Then, give him praise for his hard work when your "me time" is over. This pattern will empower your husband, eventually he will begin to take pride in his role as a caregiver instead of trying to avoid it altogether.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:10 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • sorry hun no advice for u. i'm a SAHM to a 7 month old IN THE STATES while my husband is in GERMANY. and im across the country from ALL of my fam and friends. so.....idk i hope it gets better for you!! i really do. good luck.
    Liebevoll_mami

    Answer by Liebevoll_mami at 12:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN