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How do I know if I should make the father pay child support?

We were together for over a year when I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. After him going back and forth from being happy to not being happy, he decided he wanted nothing to do with his baby because he doesnt want to "give up being selfish". So we broke up a few weeks ago. I am still hoping that he comes around, but I don't think he will. His mom is not helpful at all in this situation. She said she was very impressed with his "adult" situation in leaving me and not being around for his baby..even though his dad left his mom when she was pregnant at 18. I am 19 almost 20, he is 21 almost 22. I really loved him and I still do, I dont want to do anything to make him hate me even more or anything, but everyone keeps saying when the baby comes (I am due oct 4) that I need to make him pay child support. He said that if I tried, he would get a lawyer and fight it because no one should make him pay for a "stupid mistake" and because he wanted adoption, he wont have to pay and that it is not the law for him to have to pay for a child he "hates" and does not want. I really am lost and confused. I don't know what I should do. Right now I am so drained from the fighting, I dont even want to think about any more fighting. I just really don't know what to do anymore..

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danifaye

Asked by danifaye at 8:11 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (46 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • why would you not make him pay for the child he helped create?
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 8:14 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • If he's the father and you are not married he needs to pay child support.
    jonellg

    Answer by jonellg at 8:15 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • His child deserves a decent father, but since the baby doesn't have a decent father, he/she at least deserves the child support. Don't argue with him anymore, just file for child support. It will be garnished from his wages, or he will have to pay it or go to jail. Don't let him or his mother deprive your child of a better life. Even if you don't need the help....and I have a feeling you could use it, it could be put in a college fund for your baby.

    Quit arguing, get the child support....it will be less exhausting to just fill out the paperwork and let the courts decide!!

    Good Luck honey!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:15 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I guess I am hoping that he will come around and I dont want to risk losing him anymore than I already have... I know I sound stupid...
    danifaye

    Comment by danifaye (original poster) at 8:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • U don't sound stupid to me. u sound like someone in love. but he should love his child enough to do the right thing. parents have to take care of their children, both parents! he has a lot of growing up to do.
    He is WRONG about the law. As long as the child is his, he is responsible for it.
    Yes, you love him but you and your baby deserve better than who he is right now.

    Take him to court. Get the money for your baby. Whether he comes around or not, your baby is more important. Good Luck!
    Alexias30

    Answer by Alexias30 at 8:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • file for child support asap. It isn't for you, it's for the kid.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:39 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • He can get a lawyer all he wants! He will still have to pay support. I would let him go into court running his mouth about how "this kid" was a "stupid mistake" and how bad he wanted to adopt the child out...then when he tries to come in and out of the child's life, it is all on record.

    One thing I have learned from watching my friend deal with an ass of a baby's father, is it is all smoke and mirrors. They like to threaten, but the courts see through that, and half the time he wont even act on it anyway.

    Go for child support, but don't feed into the arguments and bologna he is throwing at you, especially while you are pregnant. You don't have any obligation to stick that added stress on yourself.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:43 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It is still his child whether he want the child or not. Make him pay. He is acting childish, but he is an adult and he has to take responsiblity for his child, no matter what.
    mlanderson

    Answer by mlanderson at 9:19 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Yes make him pay it. It's not like guys always volunteer. They can be like cattle and need to be prodded! Get it done through the court and it will take the stress off you when he thinks he should miss a payment. They tend to do that when we try to get money from them on our own
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I am just scared, i still am hoping for him to come around and i dont want to ruin anything anymore... do i need to do it now or can i still wait a little bit? im only 12 weeks right now.
    danifaye

    Comment by danifaye (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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