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How do u figure out who u really are?

I am struggling with figuring out who i am! I am 39 yrs old with 3 kids and one on the way! My kids ages are 19, 15, and 8 months! I am trying 2 figure out who i am without my kids and husband; but how do u do that when all your life you hav been taken care of yourself and others! Don't get me wrong i love my kids very much; but it just seems unfair 2 them 2 live through them because i dont know who i am!

Answer Question

Asked by merry72 at 8:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Health

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Get a pad of paper and write down things you love to do. Keep the pad near your bed and add things as you think of them over the next few days/weeks. Think of things you did in high school too and if you loved them write them down (this advise is also given to people getting ready to retire). Then see if you can do some of these things now or at least keep in the back of your mind for later on. Your interests might change over time as you grow and mature, but it is a start. You also might read some good books on self actualization. Browse in a good book store and/or Google the book subject and get some in the library. I wish you all the best

    Answer by elizabr at 8:39 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I think that knowing who you are is never fully answered. You are constantly learning and growing so you are adding 'layers' onto yourself. There are basic things about yourself that you know but may have forgotten about since you are a busy and GREAT mom! Think about the things that you loved as a kid. Did you paint? journal? play an instrument? knit? run? sing? dance? explore? read a lot? act? nurture your siblings? What did you love as a teenager? Those things that you liked made you who you are; that's still you.

    I feel that way these days too. I started thinking about my childhood because that was me in pure form. Now, i'm rediscovering those things.
    Also, take time out for yourself. Go play somewhere like at the park, swing, close your eyes while doing it. Go to Dave& Busters and play. Go bowling, skating or just start journaling about what you want for yourself and the wonderful things that you've done. Good Luck! :)

    Answer by Alexias30 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • man, you pick a hard question! sometimes people spend their whole lives, doing things to figure out who they are and nothing!! i am who i am, but who am i? i used to ask myself that all the time when i was in my early teens. i found myself, when i stopped asking. things you do, do not make up who you are. i am a woman, who loves to read as much as i love to write, i am passionate about everything i do, i am a master crafter, i am a singer/song writer, i am a poet. i am left handed. i am outgoing, loving. i am lazy at times.
    but this only describes me, it is not who i am. to really know me, would be to look into the mirror, through my eyes.

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 8:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • u r a MOM,a WIFE, a WOMAN, a SISTER,a FRIEND,a GRANDAUGHTER, & AN AUNT. Ur R everything... that makes life BEAUTIFUL & WORTH LIVING... pamper ur self, love ur self.Give ur self sometime 2 know what makes u WHO U are. After all,its not all about who u r as a person.But WHAT makes u who u r as a person.If HAPPINESS,SELF FULFILLMENT & SELF CONTENMENT comes into ur life.It helps u define ur true being. God bless u ...

    Answer by inahan at 8:57 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • time to get high and think (ha this from a non user but you know... whatever works ;)

    Answer by spastic_poodle at 11:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Education always helps... what interests you? If you had NO ONE to care for, what would you be doing with your time? You might be able to find a class in it.

    Perhaps there's an organization whose work resonates with you. That can help too.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:50 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Try to get some alone time. I know it's hard with 3 kids, and one on the way...but when you can, take a mini self-cation. I also agree with everyone who said to write down everything you know about yourself, and what you'd do if you were alone. Maybe you could talk to a therapist of counselor? I did while I was pregnant, and it helped, even though it was only a few months. I plan on going back soon.

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

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