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How do I help my 8 year old? :-(

We have lived here for almost a year and it has been tough on her. She has made one friend outside of school. At first it was great but after about a month or two the little girl began to change. She became more bossy and unwilling to play fair with my daughter. Her father told us that he started buying her whatever she wanted because he felt guilty for having to work so much. So she now has all the control in the friendship with my daughter. My daughter wants a friend so bad that she still wants to hang out with her even though she spends a lot of time upset or crying because the little girl won't share with her or play games that she suggests. She bosses her around all the time or wants to play video games all the time and my daughter wants to play games or go outside. The father lived with his girlfriend who is just 21 years old. She doesn't do anything to help the fighting between the girls when she is alone with them. (which she is a lot) She allows the little girl to do what she wants and has my daughter just watch tv with her. That is not a good way to spend time at your friends house. I want to stop her from playing over there but I don't want to stop her from being around her when she wants to because I feel so bad she has no other friends outside of school. What should we do here?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (14)
  • OP: my husband and I both feel she needs stimulation outside of just being with us. The girl's father is creating a bad situation by giving his daughter everything but we can't change that. Without his back up the little girl will continue to become this bully toward my child when she wants to. I hate to see my daughter upset but she is so little i think that she doesn't see that she can make friends elsewhere.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • put her in camp fire or girl scouts! or any type of activity like sports, that are with girls that aren't from her school. which might be hard. i remember my camp fire troup was all girls from my school but maybe you coudl talk to the people in charge and see if she can join a troup not from her school.
    i would really try and find some acitivties outside of school so my suggestion is something like campfire or girl scouts or sports, gymnastics, karate, art classes, drama classes. things like that.
    good luck!

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 10:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • have you thought of after school clubs or activitys . maybe she could meet some new friends something like the the fire fly / bownies

    Answer by feralkitten at 10:19 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Remind her that we have friends for life and friends for a season. This girl is obviously a seasonal friend. If she wants to be bossy and not beconsiderate she doesn't need to play with your daughter. Have you thought about getting her into the boys and girls club or girl scouts? Something where she may find other friends?

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 10:21 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Do you think it is best to limit their time together then?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:21 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • there are clubs, girl scouts, sports... try to involve her in some sort of after school activites. Do you have friends that have children around her age? Set up a play date. GL!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:23 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • i would not limit it i would just put here into some clubs till she finds the one for her you find once your daughter starts enjoying herself she do it her self as she want to spend time with people she likes  . and once your daughter pulls away you may find this little girl works out daddy cant buy her friends so will want to be real friends again . as mum we want to stop are kids getting hurt but at the end of the day they have to get a little hurt to learn :( what kinda girl is your daughter maybe she like dancing , or drama any form of club will do it


    Answer by feralkitten at 10:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • We went through a situation like that not too long after we moved. We, finally, sat our ds down and explained to him what a real friend was. We asked him if the boy was acting like a real friend. Our ds decided that the boy didn't act like a friend should. Eventually, he made other friends that were nice. As parents, sometimes, it is difficult for us to decide on what is best for our children. As our children age, we must give them tools to make decisions on their own. As with our children's decisions, our decisions on how to help our children is through trial and error.

    Answer by dustbunny at 10:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I agree with the PPers. Any kind of sport or activity that would get her involved with other kids her age. My dd loves dance and made friends there. I wouldn't try to limit the time with the other girl. Just give your DD more social options and she will probably limit the time with that friend all on her own.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:43 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I agree, get her in sports and/or cubs.

    Answer by tazdvl at 11:39 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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