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How do you annouce a pregnancy to a close friend who recently became unable to have children anymore?

I am trying to be as sensitive to my friend as I can be. She suffered a miscarriage about two years ago, and because of that, discovered she had some pretty severe health issues. Less than a month ago she ended up having a total hysterectomy. I spoke to her today, and I was going to tell her I am pregnant, but we got to talking about other things, and out of the blue she says she's very proud of how well she's been handling this new change in her life, but gets very depressed, sad, and angry when she sees women with very young babies, or pregnant women. She has two young girls of her own, but will unfortunately not be able to have anymore kids of her own. I really want to announce it to my friends, but I want to tell her first. I just don't know how to tell her. I know she'll be upset...but I don't want her to get angry or mad. I don't know if I'm being selfish or not. I just want to tell her soon, and to do it as sensitively as I can. I appreciate any ideas.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (4)
  • if she's a good friend, she'll be happy for you. how she reacts to it in private is her issue, not yours. just tell her, and be done with it. if she finds out from others first, that will make her wonder why you didn't tell her. just do it.

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It would be worse if she didn't have kids. I told my aunt who has no kids and can't get pregnant over the phone... I was like I want to tell you something but I don't want to upset you... That way she knew I wasn't trying to rub it in her face or nothing. She was ok, she was excited after she seen my first ultra sound. :)

    Answer by sissy0604 at 10:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Hmm... I'm not sure how exactly, but plan on telling her in such a way that she doesn't feel like you expect her to jump up and down. Just be honest.... "I wanted to tell you this first because I know it might be hard to take, but I love you and it means a lot to me that you're a part of our/my babies lives....." Something along those lines?

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:12 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • :( i had to do this. my dear friend suffered a still birth, a very wanted baby, a month before i found out i was pregnant with a very unplanned baby by my exboyfriend. not only did i have to drop the bomb that i was expecting, she was well aware of how unsure i was and how much i did NOT want to conceive at that time.
    i just sat down with her and told her, and said that i didn't want her to hear from anyone else. i made it very clear that if she didn't want to hear all the little pregnancy details, attend the shower, etc, that it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all because i understood how hard it would be for her. and things were okay after a couple weeks. i made sure to talk about everything: news, guys we knew, our families, restaurants, baby, furniture, weather, makeup. not baby, baby, baby. it worked out. just call someone else about the first kick or morning sickness... it might seem like rubbing it in.

    Answer by shilohsmama425 at 8:05 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

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