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Dissolving relationship with family...

Growing up I always felt I was treated like what some would call the 'step child'. My mom would say things like "i only wanted one kid...u were totally unexpected" When my bday came around I had to celebrate it on my sisters whose was a month before mines or she would have to get gifts too because she would get jealous. Everything I wore til I was about 9 was hand me downs from my sis who was 4 years older than me and everything I ever wanted was rejected. I loved playing sports, dance, art, music, but my parents answer was always 'no they didnt have enough money' (even though they owned their own very successful business). I grew up like this my sis getting a brand new car for her very first car and me a lemon off the side of the street; her going off to 2 prestigious colleges and me being told once again 'they just didnt have the money.' When I was laid off my job I had to go to a govt agency for help (21 y.o. single mom at the time) because they all told me no and laughed at my downfall. Now Im 24 and have done decent for myself; I'm engaged have two kids a house and a decent paying job, while my sis is still at home, working for my parents because she cant hold a job, and hopeless with 20K worth credit card debt. My parents however still look down on me. My mom makes jokes about me having 2 kids out of wedlock, calling me nasty amongst other things while my sis has had 3 abortions. My dad just flat out ignores me but is very controlling when it comes to my sons because he always said he wanted all boys. Everyone talks and criticizes me behind my back, and after 24 years I'm just pretty much over it. My mom has cursed me called the cops on me, everything you could think of, while my dad just tells me I f'd up my life. The only time they call me is 2 ask about my kids or take them somewhere and when they do they show total disregard for their curfew, or my guidelines (3 years old prone for diabetes always comes home with cupcakes or candy at 1030 at night). I dont plan to completely cut them off but I know their my family but what does it matter when they dont act like it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Mar. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Yeah I'd move away. Honestly I didn't see alarm bells till you said they laugh and belittle you. That would be my cut off point.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 11:01 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I know you don't want to totally cut them out of your children's lives, but is their health worth it? You said one of your kids is diabetic, yet they give him all kinds of sweets? Don't they realize that can kill him? And for them to make fun of you, probably in front of your kids (?), your kids don't need to see that nor be subjugated to that. If they aren't doing that in front of them to your face, you just don't know what kinds of stuff they're saying about you to them behind your back when they do take the boys. That's neither fair for you nor to them.

    I'm sorry, but I'd say you just need to totally remove them from your life. Hang up when they do call. Don't allow them to treat you like that anymore. *Hugs*
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:11 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • Dissloving?
    Maybe your whole family should all get together and get some Family Counseling.None of you are especially well adjusted or successful. You need some help.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:12 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • @minnesotanice i meant dissolving and I disagree maybe you're rich and lived differently. But off a high school education and working hard I've accomplished a good bit for 23 turning 24.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It's not worth it, this is YOUR life and you don't need people like that in your life. You don't deserve to be treated that way. I know where you're coming from! :) My family has always belittled me, and the last time they were here, after my dad said some very hurtful things, I kicked them out and haven't talked to them since. I am 37 so I put up with it for a very long time and my self-esteem has suffered greatly for it.
    mommy2myles

    Answer by mommy2myles at 11:46 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • It's sounds like all your trials and troubles have made you into a very strong and determined woman. I wouldn't even think twice cutting them out of your life. They don't respect you. They don't really care about the health of your son. They only see what they can get from you. I see no love from them to you. I see no respect from them to you. I see no care, concern, repentance from them to you. That's not any family I'd want for my children much less myself.

    We have two kinds of family. The ones we are born into or raised by and those who we choose. Sometimes it's best if we stick with the family we choose than let random chance dictate who we call family.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 8:50 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

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