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He Spanks, and I to compromise?

My fiance and I are getting married next month. I have two daughters who are 6 and 10 and he has one son and daughter 9 and 7 that he has custody of. He believes in spanking as discipline, while I strongly disagree. When we move into together is what I am worried about. How do we mesh such different parenting styles together in one household?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Nov. 26, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You can have two disciplining styles coexist in the same house as long as you are both consistent with what you do. Now if the issue is him spanking your children then yeah you guys need to come up with some techniques that you can both use. I know this is a late answer but good luck joining your families!

    Answer by JJones02 at 5:03 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • Talk to him and explain to him that when he spanks and you don't, the kids are getting mixed messages which may lead to them trying to play one of you against the other. Let him know that no matter what, you have to find some sort of compromise and show a UNITED FRONT.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:39 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • You need to have it fixed before you get married.If you don't, then it is really going to be bad in the family.its really going to be bad on your marriage. What if you 2 have a child together, whats going to happen?

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:25 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I think you need to work this one out asap. I think that spanking is unneccessary, cruel and wrong- JMO. Maybe you can educate him on the benefits of To's vs spanking. I feel most parents resort to spanking because either they themselves where spanked and know No other way or they haven't truly tried other methods. I really hope that you & he find a happy resolution for your new blended family. Good luck

    Answer by litstargazer at 6:07 PM on Nov. 26, 2008

  • I personally don't believe in spanking unless it's an extreeme saftey situation like running into the road. I think spanking should be the exception and not the rule. I much prefer a consistent, organized time out and loss of priveledges.

    I certainly wouldn't want him spanking my kids and his kids will feel resentful if he's spanking them and not yours.

    Like litstargazer says, this needs to be worked out ASAP.

    Answer by pugpin at 9:52 PM on Nov. 26, 2008