Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't want to force it on him, but he really needs to get potty trained, and I don't understand why he doesn't want to..

I've asked his doctor if she thinks he's just not ready/too young. But she said he is prefectly fine to. I have tried pull ups, and he just thinks theyre diapers, so he goes in them. I tried just underwear, but everytime I turn my back he wets himself. I tell him if he has to use the potty to tell me, and I know he can tell when he has to go. I even tried sitting him on the toilet every 30 minutes, he just holds it until he's off the potty. I'm not sure what else I can do to try and get him potty trained. Should I just wait it out, and let him d it on his own. My mother, my MIL, my SIL, and pretty much everyone is telling me 'you need to get him potty trained' 'he's turning 3, why isnt he potty trained yet?' ... its getting annoying. Do you think hes just not ready, or just being stubborn, and I should keep pushing him torwards using the potty? Any suggestions as to how? Thanks

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 AM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (11)
  • It could be that you're pushing too hard. I'm very much in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp on this topic. I have 6 kids, 5 of them toilet trained, and with my first I was desparate to get him trained (thanks to a very pushy grandma), and it was a nightmare. Frustrating. But with my subsequent kids, I just sorta decided to go with it. They come around in their own time, and its WAY EASIER if you wait until they are a little older.

    Answer by judimary at 3:47 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • My DS wasn't potty trained until after he was 3...He still has accidents at night, but when he's awake, he goes on the potty just fine... What I did was a "reward chart"... I made a chart on posterboard that had 7 columns and 5 rows (for one month's worth--columns for days, rows for weeks), and every time he went, he got a metallic start sticker on his chart. He also got "juicies" (that's what he calls those Gerber fruit snacks). And, if at the end of the week, he had one or more stars on EVERY day, he got to pick out a small toy at the store. Sure, it took a few weeks, but eventually he got it :)

    Answer by laird6372 at 4:35 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I wish I had an answer to your main quiestion on how to fix the problem but I know not.
    But I do think there's an answer to your other question of why he has learned to avoid the toilet. you might try reading "Diaper free baby" and looking into natural infant hygeine. It gives some insight as to what it is exactly diapers are responsible for doing to our DDs and DSs.

    Answer by Twinklights at 4:48 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • my son got excited too pee on cheerios. we just put a few in the toilet and he would start racing to the potty to try peeing on them

    Answer by kimsmith22 at 5:30 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • 3 is not a magic number to be potty trained by. It can take longer for some kids. Take away the pressure but I would contiue to take him every hour or so and simply tell him it's time to try. Read some books to him while he is sitting there. Take all negatives away and tell him you know he can do it. You might try some rewards too. Supernanny's and Dr. Phil's techniques are online and you can Google "toilet training readiness" for helpful info. There are cute potty training books for kids too. Ask your relatives to please back off and give you some slack. GL!!

    Answer by elizabr at 7:01 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • My friend's son was the same way. You know what really worked?

    he pooped & peed his pants on the first day of pre-k. He was 4 and was very embarrassed. From that day on, he never used a diaper again....which led me to believe, that he knew how to use the potty just fine....why he would not? I don't know....

    I would make him go on the potty every 10 minutes & when he finally went in there, i would throw him a party....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:54 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • i feel your pain mama, and all i can say is hang in there. i literally just went through all of that with my 2 year old daughter and yesterday she FINALLY peed on her potty! and consistently too. what i did was take her to walmart, and let her pick out her OWN panties, and let her pick out some stickers. when we got home i told her she would get a sticker every time she used the potty (even if she didn't do anything) as long as she sat for 10 minutes. she can be quite the stubborn one so if she wanted to get up before 10 minutes, i made sure she knew she wouldn't get a sticker. i also started taking her every hour instead of every half hour, because i think half an hour was too much. and i agree with you about the pullups, i like the idea of big girl/boy underwear so much better, because they can feel it on themselves. my daughter had some accidents too but i assured her it was okay and kept trying with the potty, and it works

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:58 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Boys tend to take longer and are more stubborn about using the potty. My Ds is 4, he has been potty trained for a while, but still went back and forth with having repeated accidents until about 6 months ago. We still struggle with #2 in the potty and its very frustrating. Recently, we made a chart for "poppy in the potty" and it does seem to be working. If he goes he gets a sticker on his chart as well as picking 1 thing that he really wants to do-usually video games. I would stick with the underwear and when he does go make a HUGE deal out of it, also reward him. Good luck.

    Answer by momofone221 at 8:00 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • The best advice I can give is BACK OFF. I know with MY son...the minute I got "excited" about potty...he was all "no thank you" LOL
    I backed off...and he moved right on no problem. It may take time...but just be consistent and EMOTIONLESS about it. DO NOT LET HIM SEE THAT YOU CARE. It's NOT about you or the family or other people's's about your child's bowels and excrement! :P~
    Good lucK!


    Answer by boomamma at 7:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • My daughter hated using the "baby potty" so we took her to Walmart and let her pick out a potty seat that goes on the big toilet. (I thought she'd pick princess or Dora, nope, baseball. LOL) Then we watched Potty Time with Elmo and colored in the coloring book. We put the poster up on the bathroom door and talked about how she'd get a big girl sticker every time she went on the big girl potty. The first week was every 15 minutes with a diaper at nap and bed time. Second week we increased to every thirty and she got a big girl present every evening that she didn't have an accident. PS. My friend used fruit loops in her toilet for her son's target practice (dad also got in on the action :)) Boys are harder than girls. Good luck!

    Answer by karischub at 7:27 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.