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I am so tired of hearing about my appearance

My mother has a certain idea in her mind about how I should dress and look. I do not look like that, I get so tired of hearing about it. I am not going to change b/c she tells me too, I am an adult. She buys me clothes, but they are not my style, so I don't ususally wear them.

I am a jeans/yoga pants and tshirt/sweatshirt person. If I HAVE to dress up I do, but in my day to day life, I don't need to dress up.

I love my mom, but how do I get her to back off!!???


Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 AM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Buy her some jeans/yoga pants and tell her she needs to change her appearance.

    See, your mom thinks her way is correct, which is incorrect thinking. So, to communicate with her, you need to speak to her on "her level".
    Don't be mean or get upset, just be a mirror. That's all. Every time she attempts to push her way on you, you simply return it. She'll get irritated, and then perhaps understand how you feel.

    My mom is a major manipulator and has always been this way. So, I feel ya!

    Answer by irenekanderson at 7:29 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • You've told her how you feel and what you are comfortable wearing. If she continues to buy you what she wants you to wear, I'd simply return them for my own style.

    Answer by meooma at 7:20 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • that sucks. i always wear jeans and hoodies or sweats and teeshirts, because... where am i going, really? walmart? woo hoo, time to bust out that little black dress! lol. hang up or walk out of the house when she does it. when she asks why, tell her it hurts your feelings and it's unwelcome. repeat. repeat. eventually she will quit.

    Answer by shilohsmama425 at 7:32 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Remind her that it's what on the inside that counts

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:36 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Just return what she gives you.

    Answer by mompam at 7:54 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I told my mom once that if she loves me less because of such and such then she has the problem, not me. It cut her off quickly and she never mentioned the subject again. Don't know if that would help you.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:24 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I would just tell her to stop waisting her money. Cause I will never wear those cloths.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:33 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I'm 49, and my mom still does this. It's not worth fighting about, when I'm around her sometimes I'll pick something I know she would prefer for me to wear, and that I am comfortable in, but otherwise I ignore it. I have no daughters, and I hope I wouldn't be like that, but it's hard to stop "mothering" just because your kids are gentle, someday you'll be the mom of grown children too......

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:41 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • You ask for the receipt every time. My mom was the same but shes the opposite. She was always buying me jeans, tshirts and things like that and I think I own a total of 1-2 pairs of jeans at any once time lol. My dad finally noticed me asking for the receipts and told her to start buying things I actually would wear, or to just give me the money.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:47 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I think it is time to get blunt. You make me feel like a hag with your constant commentary on my appearance, stop bringing clothes to me, I don't like them, I don't wear them, they are not comfortable, I am capable of dressing myself appropriately for all occasions, but what I wear at home and on my errands is comfortable and keeps all the important parts covered, so leave me alone.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:57 AM on Mar. 26, 2011