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What can I do?

I do not know who my father is, and I've got to a point in my life where I don't really care about who he is. But I have a step father. Well he says he wants to be in my life and be a father and a grandfather to my kids. He brought me up from the age of 4 yrs to 15 yrs where he made me homeless, since then he was apologised for throughing me out onto the streets after my mother ran away. The point is he is never there for me or my kids. He helps his son, my half brother by buying him cars, motor bikes, and giving him money to buy a house. But he won't even land me £20! WTF. He rings me and goes on about things, vents at me, then I don't hear from him for months! He told me he only like my eldest two kids. He told me that his favorite is my daughter Tiffany. He never buys cards or gifts for my youngest. I've conforted him over all of these issues and he says he's in the right and I'm being 'female'!!!!! Arrrraaahhhh!


Asked by LaraHappyMummy at 9:06 AM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (331 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I'm going to be a judgmental bitch here, he's no good. He may not even be good for his own son. He's not going to be good for your kids, he's hurting you, he's NO GOOD. As much as you may fall on times when you may need a father figure, you would do better without one then to have him as that figure. He will do more damage then good.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 2:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • If I were you I would tell him to kick rocks he sounds like an ass. He tossed you out on the streets when your mom ran off whats he going to do when or if the sh&^ hits the fan again he does not seem dependable at all.


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:15 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I would tell him he can go screw himself. He does not sound like a very good person, both as in a father sence and a grandfather. My hubbys bio mom treats the two youngest as her favorates and we pretty much stopped talking to her because she is a mean person. I would tell him that you dont want him around if he is going to be that way, then stop talking to him when he does.

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 9:30 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It's up to you, alone, to weigh the pros and cons of continuing a relationship with him on his terms. It sounds like he's not allowing you to have any terms of your own. He may be just using you for his own purposes. But, then again, you may feel the need to have him in your life.

    Answer by CoffeeWriter at 10:18 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • You do not need him in your life. Not when all he does is vents to you and then doesn't call for months!....... But let me tell you this, MONEY and GIFTS are NOT LOVE!! I love my father, alot. But he wasn't there for me as much as he should have been. Of course he took us to nice places, gave us money, cars, took us clothes shopping. But not too much time!! It had a totally different impact on me than my sister. My sister is very materialistic!! THINGS define her!! Her kids are the same way. She needs and wants a gift for every Holiday. ME, on the other hand. My father's time, my husband's time, Time spent with family shows me love. Not things!!

    Answer by eluc at 11:26 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I agree, though, when I've had nothing, been struggling I turned to my step dad for help, after all he helps my half Bro all the time. And he wouldn't help me. He never spends any time with us, and when he did, he kept going on about his own views which I consider damaging to my kids. Like, he thinks women aren't good enough. He once told he (He was drunk, and this was over the phone) that I should have 'Got rid' of my babies whilst in the womb! :o( I'm thinking of getting him out of my life for good.

    Comment by LaraHappyMummy (original poster) at 11:30 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Sorry he's not going to be a good role model for your kids.... He wasn't there for you when you really needed him the most... It would be all or none for me you cant just choose what kids are going to be your grand kids....that's just my opinion though!

    Answer by terep001 at 11:44 AM on Mar. 26, 2011