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Why is it always my fault? adult content

A few nights ago, my husband and I started "getting it on." Well, I've been having problems lately with my hips hurting...especially my right one, and he tends to lean on my right hip. So, it was bothering me a little. I try to adjust myself so its not hurting as much, and he asks me what's wrong. So, I tell him my hip is bothering just a bit. Then he asks about a certain different position. Well, that one doesn't work for me MOST of the time because it hurts inside, and since he was wearing a condom...it wasn't going to work, and I told him that I wouldn't be able to do that position. So he throws a temper tantrum, and its over.

Now, after a few days, he wants to do it, then he tells me he's still pissed off from the other night. I say, "And who's fault is it?" And he has the fucking NERVE to tell me it was ALL MY FAULT! Yeah, you're getting it now, buddy...NOT. I'm the one that was trying to get into a little bit of a different position so it WOULDN'T hurt, your the one who got all butt hurt because I was in a little bit of discomfort and was trying to ease it!

Anyway, I'm not sure how to work through this at this point. I don't even want to be in the same room, let alone talk to him, at all at this point.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • have you checked with your doctor to make sure it isn't something medically wrong? If your hip hurts I dont think it is anyone's "fault" just a minor distraction that you both have to work through and find a way that you can both be comfy enough to enjoy. maybe roll around on your bed (or where ever) and see what hurts and what doesnt so you have some idea incase this happens again?
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:40 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I tend to disagree with the anon, he should be more considerate of your discomfort no matter how it might come across, it is still discomfort and nothing to blame anyone about.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:42 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • BLAH! i wouldnt give it to my SO either!
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 11:41 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry! aND IGNORE THE ANONYMOUS TROLL. It is def. your husbands fault for throwing a fit. He could've been loving and supportive and kind. Geesh!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:57 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • My husband is very sensitive to how I am feeling. If he knows I am in pain in anyway or if I am not enjoying the position he will switch what he is doing so that it is just ass enjoyable to me as it is to him. Just sit down and talk to him about it and explain that when it hurts you are not getting any pleasure from it. Maybe discuss some positions you both would like and go from there.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 11:41 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Oops ass was supposed to be as, lol. Sorry for the typo.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 11:43 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I already have gone to the dr, and all he gave me was basically water pills. Yes, I need to call him back, but I can't do that till Monday. And, no, I'm not making excuses. In fact, I initiated the entire thing, like I always have to. And I DON'T make excuses to him...if I'm just not in the mood, I tell him "no"...flat out, which is very rare. I love doing it with him, which is why I was trying to adjust so he wasn't leaning directly on my right hip, making it hurt worse than what it was.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:43 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • PS I can't take much pain medication because it does nothing for me, which is why I referred to the medication as "water pills".

    Dr said if they didn't work, he'd get me x-rayed, but I had been planning a Pampered Chef party (but due to the jerks who are in command on base, it had to be canceled/postponed), so I didn't get a chance to call this week. I'm definitely calling on Monday, though. And that's probably why hips been bothering me, doing a lot of extra cleaning and stuff around the house to get ready for the party :/
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:46 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It's not your fault, your husband felt guilty about his behavior and tried to project his feelings onto you.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:48 AM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Ouch Anon, kinda harsh, but to each their own. Anyway. If it hurts bad enough to where you can't continue, then it prob. would be a good idea to make a doc. appt. because your hips shouldn't hurt like that. Are there any other positions that you've tried that work better than others? It's frustrating when you can't ... uh ....seal the deal .... so to speak. lol. However in my opinion this situation takes understanding from both of you. It's not about blame. It happened and now you guys truly should try to work it out. You need to try to understand why he was frustrated, and he needs to try to understand that you were in pain, and were trying to find positions that worked for both of you, but couldn't.
    HappyEndings

    Answer by HappyEndings at 11:49 AM on Mar. 26, 2011