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I get soooo irrtited. wrong or i am rigth?

I am married for 8 years. My husbaned is nice and all he want is for us to be happey. We have 3 kides, 7,6,and 3 year old. The thing is my husbaned love kides like any father. And he car alotttt about them, and he play and lugh with them, but when he yelled at them they will "shocked and they get afraid" sometime he will yell at them or will scream at them. My problem I get sooooo irreted when he does that. I tell my self that he yelled at them for not big deal. And sometime I tell my self that sometime I do the same thing I yelled at them for no big reasen.
why I feel it is not the same when I yelled at them than when he yelled at them?
I am not sure why I get irretited?
Mybe because the kides get scared if he yelled at them or maybe ...... I am not sure why?
Do I am wrong to be irrtited or no?

Answer Question
 
lelly1019

Asked by lelly1019 at 1:50 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 12 (823 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Well it isn't very fair to get mad at him for yelling but to yell yourself. BUT I will say that both of you really should try to limit the yelling at the kids. I know it's hard to resist sometimes but it sends a bad message to kids. I had a mom that yelled a lot and it sort of programmed me to think that that is how you deal with things when your mad. I probably ruined 2 good relationships for being too quick to yell and get mad.

    it's worth learning to control the temper and speak to your kids calmly and rationally. It's the better example in my opinion
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 1:54 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • it's because it's not you yelling at them. I do the same thing with my kids and I have to take a step back and think if i would have yelled at them or have yelled at them for the same reason... most of the time the answer is yes. give your husband a break.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • A man's voice is deeper, louder, and yes, more scary when it yells. SO, it is a little different. We all know, though, that it is always important for Mom and Dad to try to remain calm and not yell. We all have times when we slip, but, in a perfect world, noone should be yelling.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:56 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Lol,
    lelly1019

    Comment by lelly1019 (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Yelling is NOT a good tool. Discipline is a form of teaching and children tune out to the lesson when they are yelled at. You can VERY easily discipline a child with out raising your voice.  Perhaps some child rearing classes or books to help you come up with alternatives to yelling.


     


    BTW... a bit off topic, but maybe not.... are you hearing impaired?  The flow of your post (the way it is written) seems as if you could be hearing impaired... similar grammatical errors that a hearing impaired or esl person would make.  could this be contributing to the issue?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Every parent loses it and yells at their kids sometimes.
    The important part is to be sure you collect yourself and then appologize. Say "Honey, I'm so sorry I screamed at you, I got very upset and what happened made me pretty mad, huh!... Sometimes people get angry and need to shout.. its good to shout into a pillow when you're really mad." ETC/.. Give them a comfort hug/kiss, and help them understand that ALL humans have feelings, good and bad. Its good to know that you can control them and simmer the fire --- That will teach them how to maintain their cool as they grow up :)
    Carrie131

    Answer by Carrie131 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It is not easy when u say u will not yelled, sometime we as a humen we can't contoll that. But u think I am rigth or wrong to get irretited when he does that?
    lelly1019

    Comment by lelly1019 (original poster) at 1:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • How long does it take for you to yell at your kids? Do you ask them to stop or do something 4 times and then yell because they didn't do it and he yells after the first time? Is it a daily thing with him and not you? Without knowing more about what is going on I can't say if you have a right to be irritated or not.
    tazdvl

    Answer by tazdvl at 4:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • every parent will be irritated at one point or another but if you dont agree with your husband you cant say anything about it in front of the kids. no matter how much you might disagree you have to back each other up and if there is a problem you have to talk about it privately and decide on what to do next time. but i have lost my cool a couple hundred times to and then feel guilty about it later. thats when you realize you just need your space from the kids so just go to your room for like half an hour to calm down same with the kids
    wifey000175554

    Answer by wifey000175554 at 8:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It's not right for you to get irritated with him. They are his kids, too, and he can discipline them just like you can.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 12:42 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

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