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How do I fight feeling rejected?

I am a mom of a seven week old who I am physically unable to breastfeed the natural way-I have inverted nipples that go flat and his suction sucks. We only managed a latch the first time in the hospital and it took a very long time and didn't last and seemed to be an unnecessary struggle for us both. I have since pumped for him to still get the milk and fed it to him from a bottle. He acts so angry at me all the time-cries and cries when only with me; very reluctant to eat/takes forever to/demands to be burped after every 5 ml/then after enjoying the pats my burping effort in vain, goes to sleep on me only to wake me in an hour because after an hour of trying to gently coax him to eat a good amount after him crying that he was hungry he wakes up again quickly with the same need AND reluctance. Also he kicks me HARD and it really hurts. I am still flinching in pain this morning after a combined few hours of sleep and as hot of a shower as I can stand. My love assured me that he doesn't hate me and not to feel rejected but it's so hard when I've felt like a failure since the start when I couldn't feed him naturally. He behaves so well for his dad and I am thrilled that's the case I just wish he'd be nicer to me. I feel awful :( Any advice?

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Asked by LovableFox at 3:50 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 13 (1,245 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • you might be going through post pardum depression honestly

    Answer by mamawilbur at 3:52 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • i agree. have you called the dr?

    Answer by kimsmith22 at 3:57 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It's not that, it's more complicated than that. I am not usually a very emotional person. I just feel for the first time in my life-inadequate.

    Comment by LovableFox (original poster) at 4:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • He is 7 weeks old, he does not know what hate is.. He is probably picking up your tension and reacting to it not you !! Babies can pick up on that and it scares them. You have to forgive yourself for not being able to feed him "naturally" as you say.. Calm down. A Lot of what you are saying is normal 7 week old behavior. They do get fussy and many hate to be burped and they do fall asleep fast only to wake a short period of time later..

    You are overwhelmed with your feelings and I do think you should be checked for postpartum depression.. Nothing wrong with it and it is nothing you can "will" yourself out of.. HUGS to you mama !!

    Answer by midnightmoma at 4:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • he may sense your frusturation try to calm down a little

    Answer by augboy11 at 4:54 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • May be PPD. Try using a nipple shield when breastfeeding...are you able to pump enough? I wasn't, and had to formula feed...I didn't want to, but DD was so much happier, full, and content when we started. She's now 6 months old and thriving. I felt very inadequate for stopping BFing, and I still sometimes do. I also had a c-section, which doesn't help that feeling =[ I suggest talking to people who can relate to you, online or in person. Does your hospital offer any support groups? Mine does, but I never find time to go...

    I also agree with augboy11; your son can sense your frustration. Be as calm as you can; you'll get used to it.

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 5:20 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • i agree with JustCantWait88 but your baby doesn't hate you

    Answer by proudmommy_0811 at 8:54 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • baby can barely see you clearly, how can he hate you? Baby that young usually are pretty fussy, gassy or just doesn't look comfortable and it's not your problem. Not everyone bf their baby, i think you are a little too hard on yourself. I bottle feed expressed breast milk since day one b/c I had c-section and too painful to bf. Feeding thru bottle is better b/c people can help you and you know exactly how much he drinks. Feed him more if he wants to eat after a hour, you can't over feed if it's breastmilk. You should check with doc to see if you are depress. Just hang in there and things will get better

    Answer by Amy2079 at 9:15 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

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