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Do some people just not know what they are getting into before marriage or is it that in some cases marriage changes people? What do you think? I'm talking about marriages that go bad...

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shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 7:31 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I think a lot of people don't pay attention to the little things that end up turning into bigger things. A lot of people think that marriage will bring them closer or make their problems somehow go away. And a lot of people don't think past the wedding day to what married life is day after day.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:33 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It depends on the situation. Sometimes marriages start off bad and end up good. It just depends.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 7:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I think many people go into a marriage thinking that they can change their partner into the person they want them to be. I also think getting/being married changes people.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:35 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • My personal thoughts...

    Many, if not most, people get into marriage not really fully understanding what all marriage really entails.. Much less what all it takes to make a marriage a happy and healthy one for both parties. Many people I have seen/been around/talked to..etc.. have had an unrealistic romanticized idea of marriage.. One that is pretty impossible to achieve, much less maintain for a lifetime.

    As far as people changing. Of course people change after marriage. People change whether married or not. People are ever changing beings. We grow and change constantly, our taste in things change, our hopes change, our dreams our likes and dislikes, our needs..etc.. The key in regards to changes and marriage is this.. A marriage, must also grow and change with the 2 people in that marriage.. The 2 people in that marriage, must make the effort to have their marriage grow and change with them.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:36 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I wish I had known when I married my 1st husband what I know now. We got married 6 days after my 18th birthday,and I'll admit, I just wanted out of the house,and I was in love with the idea of marriage and a family. I had NO CLUE what I was in store for, and despite having 2 kids, we still divorced after 5 and a half years. We have rmained friends, however, for the kids. We actually sat down and discussed it one day, and neither of us regrets the marriage (how can you ever regret anything that produces something as wonderful as a child), but we know we married the wrong person the 1st time,and both found the right person the 2nd time. Guess so, DH and I will have 23 years in December, and ex and his wife will have 22 this summer. That's why I think pre-marital counseling is a great idea. I wish we had done it the 1st time.
    cbk_mom3

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 7:37 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Another thought on this. So many people get married because to them, it's the next logical step. It's not necessarily a desire to BE married, but just the thought that they are going forward or something.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:38 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I think in some cases if one of the people doesnt understand the concept of marriage itll be doomed to fail. I was married just out of high school and we were both very young and immature. He did change, and so did I. We grew up. He wanted to be a 21 yr old man and go with his friends. I didnt. He got hooked on drugs and hit me. Our marriage failed. My 2nd married my ex was not someone who was a one woman guy. He admitted later he thought by getting married he would be. It doesnt work that way. I am the type of person who doesnt give second chances when you wrong me and hurt me, its over.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:51 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • They think the romance and butterflies in the stomach will last and it doesn't. Your love evolves into a comfortable friendship with a deeper passion that isn't all about sex.
    they think that because he isn't bringing her flowers anymore or whatever it was he did to woo her,that he's no longer in love.
    I second the idea that they think that marriage will cure all and he'll stop doing-fill in the blank- because they're married
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:52 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I will say that when we get married we want and think we are going to change that person into a better person or we think that they will just change if they "LOVE US"...Not going to happen...We know deep down that we wouldnt want our man changing us, it just isnt right. But we do have to remember that when we get married we have to repeat our "VOWS" in our head..It is suppose to be for life, not just for a little while. If we need to change our man than really deep down we need to change ourselves, we are not happy with ourselves and we are being selfish about it. Just date for a least a year, attend pre maritail counseling and if that doesnt work than counseling for each other. They will than tell you, if you are with the right mate and if there is any red flags.
    Apryl9

    Answer by Apryl9 at 8:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I think:
    some people get married for the wrong reasons, after some time everything falls apart.
    some people didn't love their spouse in the 1st place.
    some get married to please their family
    some don't know what they are in for
    AND
    some get it right

    I've seen all kinds of marriages but the best are filled with love and respect! I hope u ladies have that and those that don't; I hope u get it!
    Alexias30

    Answer by Alexias30 at 8:21 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

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