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How to get through to someone who is so stuck in their beliefs that they are harming themselves and their family?

I'm part of a group and I'm trying to get through to a woman who is stuck in her beliefs. I go round to her to teach her english (she is originally from Saudi Arabia) and she is stuck in the ways from her village back home. I've become very good friends with her but she clams up if I try to talk to her about anything in this district but her daughter is begging me to talk to her. Her daughter is an incredibly clever girl who is not being allowed to go to college or to even work, all she does is set her up with men an expect her to marry. Her daughter's only 16 right now and she's already being pressured. On the other hand her son who is 14 goes and gets drunk every night and is very abusive but she lets him get away with it because he is a boy and he's starting doing drugs but the mother feels (even though she is desperate to say something) that she cannot stop him because he is a boy.

She tries to tell me that no she cannot do this because of her islamic beliefs but I know for a fact this is cultural and not religious. I lived Islam for a number of years (I'm flaky - I've tried every religion under the sun) and I know for a fact that this is not true Islam. Especially not letting her son be disrespectful to her mother, heaven lies under the feet of the mother in islam. But even mentioning this she says, nope she is scared she will be punished by God.

Her husband died a few years ago and I think loneliness could be one of the issues, I'm not sure. Any ways any of you can think of to get through to her? I thought about maybe a group where she can meet other women but I'm not sure where. Ideas??

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (2)
  • This is a tough one. You don't want to dishonor her beliefs. I would say keep talking and talking. Are you close to the son? Maybe you could try talking to him. Good luck

    Answer by reaandiziesmama at 8:40 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • shes brainwashed , needs to be deprogrammed

    Answer by letstalk747 at 8:41 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

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