Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Emotional Cheating

Is it just as bad? I used to think so. But now I'm confused... I'll be clear. I'm the one who is considering it. An old flame popped up in my 'people u might know' box on FB. He was a really good friend and someone I would always turn to, but at the same time our relationship was electric. The air sizzled when we were near each other. He was a 'bad boy' that was just a little to bad for me to take a chance on.... We have always been like magnetized planets, our lives have always circled each others, but the stars never aligned. Now he re-appears. Last I knew he was married with one or 2 kids. I'm now married w/one kid, but I don't know if I'm happy.... Do I talk him or not?

Answer Question
 
wanderingmuse

Asked by wanderingmuse at 8:29 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (913 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • NO. You do not talk to him if those are your intentions. If you're not happy in your marriage end it, don't risk wrecking his.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I don't know if he's still married or not. That info was at least 5 yrs old. I'll never know if I don't say 'hi'. I don't intend to wreck his family. Not sure I want to break up mine. I just feel like I should be able to contact an old friend without feeling guilty, but this old friend is different. Still a bad idea probably though. Some memories are better left in the past anyway right??
    wanderingmuse

    Comment by wanderingmuse (original poster) at 8:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Dont do it! It will only cause problems.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 8:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • The memories are smokin though. Even though we never went anywhere.... Makes me wonder what it'd be like if I had let it happen. I guess it's that old 'what if game'...
    wanderingmuse

    Comment by wanderingmuse (original poster) at 8:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • every marriage has its rough spots. if ur considerin cheatin then u also need to realize and think thatif u do this u know its gonna bite u in the butt and ur marriage will b over. even if ur husband forgives u things will never b the same
    LindasueDa

    Answer by LindasueDa at 8:52 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Leave him alone. If you always thought emotional cheating was just as bad, why would it not be now? Stick with your morals. Work on your marriage, because if you don't and your "what if" ruins it, then you get to live with that guilt or regret. Plus you have a child, isn't he/she worth giving it your all?
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 9:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • If you're smart, you'll leave this alone.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • i think you should sit down and think about your marriage without the influence of this guy. if you can rationally make the decision that this isnt what you want and what would make you happy then i would make the moves to leave your husband. as far as this other guy goes.... once you decide what your going to do about your husband then i would get in contact with him. it never hurt to catch up and figure out where he is in his life.
    adriana1024

    Answer by adriana1024 at 9:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Why is it that I know you are all right, but it is sooo much easier said than done. I know wouldn't leave my hubby. At least not right now, but marriage isn't what I thought it would be. Actually I never really saw myself as the marrying type till I ended up with him. go figure, now I'm soo lonely. He was my best friend. We moved away from home, had a baby and now I have no friends. The ideas of an old friend is terribly irresistible, but so is our history. I suppose if I'm not able to establish contact with the pure intent of it being a friendship, I should not establish contact at all.
    wanderingmuse

    Comment by wanderingmuse (original poster) at 10:12 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • if your married the answer is no. emotional or physical is never right and its disrespectful to your marriage. Your vows didnt say for better or until you get bored. If you feel the need to cheat then you need to relook at your marriage and leave. Bringing the opposite sex into any marriage never ends well. best wishes


    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 10:37 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.