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5 Bumps

Is it normal to feel like you detest your teenager? I'm an awful mother, I know.

Okay so at points in her life I got annoyed but I have never felt the way I do right now. I'm having to type this to restrain myself from picking up her phone and smashing it into tiny little pieces (purely because I know this would hurt her most). I'm wondering if I'm going crazy... She is constantly obnoxious, she swears, she's worse than she was as a toddler. People tell me I must have done something wrong. She says she has no friends, she says everybody hates her, she hits me, she hits her friends, she goes to a psychiatrist for issues she apparently has, stress related ones... She was sent there by her guidance counsellor but it's rubbish, she has no issues except being an idiot. But no I'm a bad parent because I don't pander to her every word apparently. Well according to her and her friends and half her school. I'm so angry. Her attitude disgusts me, she cares nothing for anyone but herself. Have I done something horrificily wrong? I think I must have? Has anyone else gone through this.

I have 8 other children, one younger and the rest already past 16 and they have never been like this. I've parented her the same, I've tried to instill good values into her and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. She's horrible. She spat in my face today so I've taken all her priveleges off her but she still just sits there and scowls at me and won't move and she's so awful all the time. My husband doesn't help me, he's scared of her, actually scared of her...

What's wrong with me?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (16)
  • I'm sorry your going through this,many hugs to you. I have 2 teenagers myself so I understand. I wish I could say how to help her but I'm not so good in that area. GL
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 8:43 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • If she is going to be mean and it was my daughter she would have no phone,she would be grounded,and she would spend a lot of time writing out the things she loves and she would have to write me a letter about why she thinks she can treat people this way and whay she can do to change it. It might help her think hmmmm, geee why am I doing this and think about how her actions are hurting her?
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 8:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry ur dealing with this. Ur other kids were not like this so obviously ur not a bad mom. Even if that wasn't the case I wouldn't think ur a bad mom. I feel the same way abt mine & she's 13. There is nothing wrong with u. Ur doing ur best & that's all u can do. ;)
    melrose79

    Answer by melrose79 at 9:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • no you are not a bad mother for feeling this way, you are only human and from what i read this child is horrid!!!! she hit you and spat in your face ????? if my teen child ever SPITS IN MY FACE.....OR HITS ME.. i would find another home for them period. that is so rude ! if i had ever spat on my mom or hit her , i would not have fingers to type. i would make arrangements for that child to live somewhere else period. that's how i operate.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:27 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • oh yeah.. i would whip her tail too, and it would be worth it. i can't believe this shit.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:28 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Oh my, I'm so sorry. Send her to bootcamp!
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I would totally NOT put up with that! I think you should check into some disciplinary boarding schools, leave the brochures lying around, and have an intervention on her ass! Does she pay for her own phone?? NO? Then why does she still have one??? Take away ALL of her priveliges and I mean ALL of them! If she slams her bedroom door -- then take the door off! She MUST learn some respect.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • There is nothing wrong with you, and for outsiders looking in to say that you have done something wrong - don't let them get to you. No one knows what it is like to live with her, be her mother or have to put up with everything she dishes out except for you. There was a period of time I could not stand my 14, soon to be 15 year old daughter either. I have 3 children, the other 2 boys and she by far gives me the biggest amount of trouble. She screams at me, she is disrespectful much of the time, she throws things, slams doors, etc. It was a phase that she grew out of. We found the one punishment that hit home with her was taking away the computer and the cell phone. When we took those two things away we got her attention. I hope you find something that works for you too. And don't let anyone else tell you how well you are doing as a parent - all your other children are just fine. Hugs to you.
    catsmom1993

    Answer by catsmom1993 at 10:32 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I have to agree, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. There is something wrong here, this girl wants the control for starters.

    I do feel bad for her, she sounds like she might have a social disorder and is really having difficulty. I am glad that you are getting help for her and you need to ask the psychiatrist for strategies for yourself to deal with situations when she goes so far out of control like this.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:02 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • Sorry to read about your situation. I can't call you a bad mother! Someone suggested bootcamp; I'd send her away! Since your DH is scared of her you need to do something to get her under control.
    My vote is for bootcamp!
    Alexias30

    Answer by Alexias30 at 9:59 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

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