Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How to convince people about pregnancy from a 'sterile' husband? Has this ever happened to anyone?

I am so angry right now so I had to type this. My husband is apparently sterile, was diagnosed as a teen after health problems and has been sterile ever since. I knew full well that he was when we married and I was happy to adopt and foster, we have a big house and are comfortable financially so I've enjoyed helping and providing a safe haven for children over the years, it's been wonderful. Last week I found out I was pregnant, I was of course overjoyed, a little confused when the nurse said it, but overjoyed. So I immediately told my husband and he trusts me implicitly so realised well it's a half miracle, let's celebrate. However his family have reacted differently, they've told him to leave me and that the child won't be his. How do I deal with this? I've never been a confrontational person so I doubt I could just walk up and make a snappy comment.

To make things worse my family are starting to question it too and I'm just so upset now. I was so excited to tell everyone and now everyone's telling me it's impossible and I'm 'wrong' and must have cheated. My husband, thank god, has always trusted me and I hope he always will... But things are getting ridiculous now as they've spread it round town...

Ideas ladies? Even if given the chance I would not choose to test through amniocentesis to show them because number one there's a risk in it and number two I'm not justifying their ridiculous ideas.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • hope it's not a false positive

    Answer by letstalk747 at 9:09 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • It's not, I've had my first scan already.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I have no idea except agree to get a paternity test, if their opinion matters. The most important thing is you and your husband, one he trusts you, ten it doesn't matter. If you do paternity, it's just a way of showing everyone else how stupid their conclusion was..

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 9:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I agree that it is only you and DH that matter. Ask him if he would like a test. If he says no, then tell everyone else "this is our baby, you can be hear for us or not."

    Answer by dancinintherain at 9:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Everyone else needs to keep their noses out of this, This is between you and your husband. I would talk to your doctor or his and have them check into his history to find some answers. It has been known to happen, I have a friend that had was told she would never be able to conceive and at the ripe old age of 35 she got pregnant, had her baby at 7 months and almost lost her due to difficulties. Well with dealing with all that she ended up getting pregnant again and had her 2nd daughter 7 months later, again with a preterm labor she almost lost her as well. 2 pregnancy 2 babies 7 months apart. They are almost for years old now and very healthy. We call them MIRACLE BABIES!

    Answer by hodgkinrus6 at 9:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • First, CONGRATULATIONS, what a blessing! This hasn't happened to me, but during my "planned" pregnancy my husband at the time asked for a DNA test. I do know people that this has happened to though. I'd just laugh it off, you know the truth. Maybe send hubby to a urologist or fertility specialist, this way you have some medical back up that this sort of thing happens. It's wonderful that hubby is so supportive and I'm guessing thrilled!

    Answer by camiam81 at 9:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Yeah I went through the same thing. My dh was said to not be able to have kids. Now we were not married when I got pregnant with my oldest we married shortly after I found out. He knew he was the daddy. However his mom out right told me she didn't believe it was his. I said "Well we are all entitled to our opinion." and left it at that. When baby was born there was never another word said about it because once they saw her face they were I hate your miracle is being taintedby the negativity of the family.   I hope things get better for you.  Congratulations.


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 9:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • My DH had Rheumatic fever as a child,and was told he would probably never have kids. So, for 5 years, we never used any BC. Well, 5 years into our marriage, I found out I was pregnant. Like you, my DH was as overjoyed as I was. I'm sorry your DH's family is reacting as they are. Once my DH's family got over the shock,they were all thrilled,also. Our son was born the day before my DH's 40th birthday. He waited 40 years, never thought he'd have a child,and got one for his birthday. Didn't get much better than that. Oh and BTW, our son was born on my 29th BD. So,within 24 hours, we all have our BD. Best wishes to you and DH, and your future little one!

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 9:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • wow are they going to have some serious apologizing to do.... you know what?? shame on them. A pregnancy is stressful enough, and you and your husband know that you've been given a miracle. Don't let their crazy thoughts take that away from you. You just hang in there and 9 months from now, you will have a beautiful miracle, and they will be kissing butt to be able to be in the baby's life. Hang in there....good luck and CONGRATS on your miracle!! :)

    Answer by katieandchris01 at 9:24 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • If your husband trusts and believes you, that's all that matters. Get a DNA test when you have the baby, just to throw it in their judgemental faces. "Miracles" happen all the time, and doctors don't know EVERYTHING.

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 10:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.