Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Would you leave your workaholic SO to move closer to your family?

I moved for my SO's job a few years ago. He works 12-14 hours each day. I want to move closer to my family to have help with our little one, bur he refuses. I am at my wit' s end & need some support. I dontnwant to break up my family, but I feel alone in the marriage.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Mine will work 70+ hours a week sometimes. I like having my own time, but then again all our kids are adult and out of the house. But think of it this way. He's really trying to make the $$ so you can all live well. Hubby being off so much working beats the heck out of him only working 40 or less and spending all his free time with his buddy's. I would NEVER crab at my man for bringing home the bacon. Just enjoy what time you DO get with him.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I moved for my husband's job...8 years ago. I'm no where near any of my family and have never had any help, besides him, or any kind of support, except via phone/internet. We have 4 children together, and he works 10-15 hr shifts sometimes, and sometimes even on the weekends. There's also times when he's away for 6 months at a time. I have never left him because I needed "support" of my family to help raise any of my children.

    If I can do it, I know you can do it as well.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:26 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Ok, this is going to sound awful. BUT, your really considering taking your one child away from his father because works more than you would like? That sounds self fish. To answer your question, no I wouldn't leave my husband because he was working.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:26 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Maybe I should clarify - I feel isolated and want to be closer to my family for social support. He has been offered a similar job with similar pay closer to my family ( and his), but refuses to take it because they live in an area he considers to be less sophisticated. I would not mind the hours so much if I had my mom and sisters close to me. I just don't feel lie he is gaming my needs into consideration. Thanks for the feedback though.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:32 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Please believe me when I say I know how you feel. When my husband got stationed here in nowhere, South Dakota, I had NO ONE for ANY kind of support, and we made it through. My husband and I are so much closer now because I chose to stay with him, and live with him, even through all the hard times, deployments, long ass hours he has to work (and doesn't get overtime)...we are a MUCH stronger couple now than we were then.

    Please, if you can, sit down and talk with him. I know you want to be around your family. Trust me, I miss my mom so very much. She's my best friend. But I would rather be with my husband, because he IS my family, as are my kids.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:45 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • do you have friends around you? if i were you i'd try to find a bigger support system. i feel for you- as my SO, dd, and i live across the country f/ all my family, whom i'm very close to. i have thought of moving back- and my SO works crazy long hours too btw- but in the end this is the family i want. i love him and would never do anything like leave because of his job. is there any way he can try to make more time for you? have you talked to him about your feelings and concerns?
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 10:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • Catch 22 - ya have a hard working man supporting you and family but he works too much to spend time with you & wants to live in a certain area for certain reasons? hmmmmm Idk tough one I guess in the end whats more important to you & going to make you happy? GL.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 10:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • I dunno...I think if he works that much, then you could surely hire a babysitter or someone to help you
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:06 PM on Mar. 26, 2011

  • dang that is tough anyway that he would cut back or let him know that you really need some support goodluck
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 1:47 AM on Mar. 27, 2011

  • If he's away all the time providing for his family, then I wouldn't leave him. If you are altogether at the end of your rope then maybe it is the best thing to move. It's all about how your marriage is when he is home, yes being away from him alot is hard and lonely, but he's probably missing you just as much as you miss him.
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 12:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.